Showing posts from August, 2011

Section 144 imposed outside Arnab Goswami’s house, RAF deployed after another fight

Times Now anchor Arnab and his wife are at it again. This time the two fought over their respective versions of the Lokpal bill. Presenting the Humor Unplugged exclusive story of the month.

As the last day of August dawned on the Goswami household, Arnab, Pipi and their kid Pappu Goswami were enjoying a scrumptious breakfast prepared by Pipi. Peace had finally established itself firmly in the family with Arnab and Pipi signing a ceasefire agreement brokered by none other than union finance minister Pranab Mukherjee after their last skirmish. But who would have guessed that this would be the proverbial calm before Irene.

As soon as breakfast was over and Arnab and Pipi had finished exchanging pleasantries,  Arnab posted his version of Lokpal bill on the fridge with a huge note stating that this version should be considered final by the parliamentary standing committee. Pipi however had drafted her take and calmly pushed Arnab’s draft down and pasted her version there instead.

Arnab wa…

Coming soon – a shampoo for politicians

FMCG major Procter and Gamble has announced that it will be launching a new shampoo exclusively for Indian politicians. In a posting on the company’s Facebook community page, P&G says that the shampoo developed after almost 5 years of research is now ready for sale and will hit the shelves as early as next week.

Noted shampoologist Dr. Hammerschmidst who spearheaded the project is excited by the launch. Speaking to us from his lab in Gangtok, he said “This shampoo is more slimy and slippery than the usual Head & Shoulders. It smells like newly printed currency notes and keeps hair slippery and shiny – just the way these politicians want. We have removed  anti-dandruff and tick removing chemicals from the shampoo as these political parasites are rarely affected by microbial parasites like fungi and protozoans”.

The smell of currency notes will help politicians stay calm under tense situations such as parliamentary debates and will also help MPs bond with each other. “The smell…

Air India to sue Gulf Air for copying patented mishap

Gulf Air flight GF 270, carrying 137 passengers, had a narrow escape today morning when it skidded off the runway and came to a halt in muddy areas, damaging its nose wheel. There is no denying the fact that this was a textbook mishap. But, folks at Air India beg to differ as they feel that the incident was a deliberate and desperate ploy by Gulf Air to gain sympathy and passengers.

Air India’s PRO Chubbu Kumar, in an exclusive interview with Humor Unplugged claims that the 135 degree angle at which the GF 270’s nose wheel came to rest is typical of an Air India skid off patented by the carrier few years back. “Our then honourable minister for civil and not so civil aviation and Dawood’s friend Sri Praful Patel had asked us to patent the whole thing since many of our planes were skidding off and landing at that angle and yes we did file and receive a patent for the same. Gulf Air has infringed on our patent on such landings and we will file a case against them”.

He also claimed that …

Aishwarya Rai’s first hubby is a big Anna Hazare fan

Former Miss world and actor Aishwarya Rai Bachchan’s first husband, a Varanasi-based Banyan tree Ficus is a big fan of anti-corruption crusader Anna Hazare. The now divorced husband had met the leader few years back when Anna came to Varanasi to lead an agitation against corruption in civic bodies here.

“Yes, I am deeply inspired by him. In a world filled with shallow leaders with wafer thin egos and equally thin intellect, Anna stands out as a visionary and as a champion of the masses. I have had the pleasure of meeting him during one of his visits to Varanasi and feel he is a blessing for the nation and its people,” the huge banyan tree told Humor Unplugged.

Speaking about his past relationship with Aishwarya, he says that he does not regret the relationship or the marriage. “We were both young those days. I was just out of another relationship and so was she and we were both seeking solace in each other and I must say we have spent some memorable time together cracking jokes about…

Support for Anna swells, Arindam Chaudhuri, Priyanka Chopra and Deepika Padukone log in

Anna’s fight against corruption received endorsement from unlikely quarters this week.

Pony-tailed clown and self-proclaimed academician Arindam Chaudhuri has extended his full support and cooperation to the Anna Hazare-led anti-corruption movement. In a press release issued late last night, the so called dean said that he will be showing his unconditional support by filing multiple cases against the movement and its leaders in his favourite lawsuit getaway, Silichar early next week.

“This is my way of showing solidarity with the movement and I want to tell Anna I am firmly with you,” Chaudhuri said before dashing off to meet his lawyers to discuss the cases to be filed.

Priyanka Chopra will do 30 movies, Deepika will date 43 people in 22 days 
National Award winning actress Priyanka Chopra told Humor Unplugged that she has signed on to do 30 movies to indicate her support for the Anna movement. “These movies will be based on serious issues such as romance that the nation is grappling …

China raising an air intrusion squadron

Tired of intruding into its neighbors territory via land, China is now actively working towards opening a new intrusion frontier across its borders with neighbors. Humor Unplugged has been learnt that the under development stealth aircraft J-20 (Chengdu) will be used by a specialized air intrusion wing that is being raised by China. The squadron will be headed by People's Liberation Army Air Force (PLAAF) commander Gen. Yukk Thoo Chin.

China is eagerly waiting for the completion of the project. But if China’s track record is anything to go by, that will remain a pipe dream. China’s last jet project- the J-10 was a disastrous flop with the plane bagging just one customer outside China and no prizes for guessing who brought it – Pakistan. The J-10 has been called a ‘maintenance nightmare’ by sources within China and the PLAAF engineers are having a hard time keeping these birds flying fit. Little wonder China is acting generous and offering these planes away at throwaway rates.


All parties in the civil society-government dialogue are showing flexibility: Sri Sri

His holiness (Sri)2 Ravi Shankar said yesterday that all parties in the ongoing discussion over  Jan Lokpal bill were showing extraordinary flexibility thanks to his yoga sessions. The claim was made in an exclusive two minute Skype chat the AOL founder had with Humor Unplugged yesterday.
“You see I have been roped into the whole process for a reason and that is to ensure that everyone is as flexible as required so as to ensure the bill is passed smoothly. I have spent hours together with so many people from both sides teaching them various yoga postures to ensure maximum flexibility in dialogue,” (Sri)2 said.

Dismissing allegations that he was joining the process for sake of publicity, (Sri)2 he said "that my friend is a lie. I am not here to earn another Sri. I have enough 'Sris' to last this lifetime so I am not chasing fame or glory. Though I don't mind all that media attention".  He also said that he had he could not fly in to join the movement earlier sin…

85 percent of studies bogus, cooked up and unreliable: study

A study carried out by noted and worded ‘studyiologist’ Dr. Hammerschmidst has revealed that as much as 85% of research carried out by all kinds of institutions and quoted by various newspapers and magazines are false. His findings, which will be presented at an international seminar on studies in September, set the record straight as far as the modus operandi such fake studies are concerned.

“Most of the studies we analysed can be categorised into 3 categories – for the media, by the media and attention grabbers. Most of these studies have no scientific basis and are done by researchers and scientists who are either free or are not engaged in any research that could have positive consequences for mankind,” Dr. Hammerschmidst said. He also said that there were studies done by some to support a way of thinking. “A study should be conducted under strict conditions and there are over 500 parameters that need to be defined and monitored under strict observation standards and we found tha…

Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi speaks to Arundhati Roy

In what is seen as a last ditch effort to buy peace, Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi made a late night phone call to Indian Aunty National Arundhati Roy requesting her to criticize his regime as soon as possible.

“At around 4 am in the morning, auntyji received a call from someone claiming to be a Libyan dictator. The call lasted an hour and the person on the other side made a passionate plea requesting Roy to write multiple articles and issue statements condemning the Libyan ruler using harsh words. Roy said she will take a call on the issue today morning,” a source who stays in Roy’s house told us.

Analysts say that the Libyan leader's move may be inspired by Roy’s image in the international media. “Everyone knows she is a pain and likes to criticise everything under the sun. So anything she criticises gains instant legitimacy and sympathy so this might be a carefully calibrated move by the soon to be former dictator,” a senior analyst with a political magazine in Washington to…

What revolution? And who is Anna Hazare asks Barkha Dutt

Nation’s self-appointed news nanny Barkha Dutt has completely avoided covering the Anna Hazare movement.  Instead of being at Ramlila Maidan, from where other anchors were proudly beaming images of a man on a mission, Barkha was spotted partying with a Congress MP just a day ago.

That was yesterday and what happened today? Well, instead of covering the huge crowds that had gathered outside the West Gate of parliament, Barkha went to the East Gate and reported that the situation was as normal as ever and there was not even a soul outside parliament. While her colleagues from other channels gave extensive coverage to the massive crowd that had gathered outside the West Gate, Barkha calmly told NDTV viewers that there was no mob whatsoever and that the whole thing had ‘petered down’.

She left parliament building, went on to interview Aunty national Arundathi Roy and then left for Nauru to cover the hydra revolution there. Apparently a few people have gathered outside the Nauruan parliam…

After Standard & Poor's, Al Qaeeda downgrades United States

After Standard & Poor's downgraded US’ long term rating due to political risks and debt burden, Al Qaeda has followed suit and downgraded US’s attack worthiness from ‘The Great Satan’ to ‘ Tasmanian Devil’. The change is widely seen as a huge downgrade and attributed to the prevailing political chaos and economic uncertainty in the US. The new rating will be effective immediately and Al Qaeda cadres across the globe have been informed of the same.

Al Qaeda communication intercepted by intelligence agencies suggest that the downgrade was enacted over a meeting that happened sometime early last week. The meeting was presided over by the new Al Qaeda CEO Ayman al-Zawahri and attended by his directs from across the world. Analysts suggest that the new rating means that US will now be ignored by Al Qaeeda for sometime till it becomes ‘attack worthy’ again and the ratings revised.

“The Great Satan has been plagued by problems created by himself. He is no longer a worthy opponent an…

China’s cat army is of no consequence to us: A K Anthony

After reports of China raising a feline army started trickling in, the Indian defence bureaucracy went into the usual huddle and came out with assurances that the development will not be of much consequence to India or its forces.

The Associate Press had reported yesterday that stray cats being rounded up in a remote west China city are being used to catch rodents that have infested surrounding pasture lands. Now every knows that China often undertakes military adventures under the garb of civilian work and so it won’t come as a surprise if China manages to deploy a feline division across her disputed border with neighbours in the near future.

“We are aware of the episode and since it falls outside the purview of the national defence apparatus, the home ministry has stepped in. I have had a word with Chidu in the morning and he has assured me that India will also raise a paramilitary feline force under the home ministry soon. We are just being cautious here. Otherwise the whole thing…

Dinosaurs had a massive farewell party before apocalypse

Scientists have unearthed fresh evidence that suggests dinos didn’t go down quietly as previously believed.

Noted palaeontologist Dr. Hammerschmidst has been studying dinosaurs for over 3 decades now. As a young graduate from the University of Wyoming, the doc had proposed a radical theory that was ridiculed and pooh poohed by dino experts from around the world. Hammerschmidst’s (then) preliminary research suggested that the dinos assembled across the planet in different groups and had a huge farewell party before an Iridium rich asteroid smashed into earth causing their extinction.

"Yes, thirty years back on July 12th I had proposed my theory on a massive pre-extinction party hosted by dinos all over the world. I was immediately banished from the league of extraordinary palaeontologists and declared an outcast. But I didn’t give up and continued my research with funding from some generous folks and today I am happy to announce that we have unearthed evidence that suggests I was…

Mahesh Bhatt's offices raided, scripts recovered, movie maker placed under arrest

In a major crackdown against producers\directors making movies without a valid script, Mahesh Bhatt’s offices and his residence were raided by Censor Board officials early morning today. The pre-dawn swoop  yielded many well-concealed scripts and incriminating documents. The director has been placed under judicial custody and charged under sections 306 (making movies without a plot) 307.53 (Abusing\not using valid script for movies) and 309 (conspiracy to hide scripts).

The raids were carried out by a flying squad of the board after complaints were received by it against directors and producers shooting movies without a valid script. Sources say that a record number of 567 complaints were received against Bhatt and his team and the board had already decided to make an example out of the ‘accomplished’ director.

In several past instances, whenever the board asked Bhatt to furnish a script, the latter chickened out giving all kinds of excuses including “our cow ate the script that wa…

Desperate Indian PM looks at Yahoo for answers

We all knew that Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh was not happy with the way things were shaping up in his administration. But we didn’t realize things were so bad.
New Delhi, Aug 18: In a desperate move, Indian PM Dr. Manmohan Singh has posted a query on Yahoo Answers asking for suggestions (and answers) from netizens on how to put his house in order after a spate of scandals and ill timed moves diminished the stature of his administration. Clearly, the onslaught by crusader Anna Hazare has shaken the PM and forced him to seek unconventional channels to find ways to put things back on track before the next general elections.  When Humor Unplugged logged on to Yahoo answers today morning, we were shocked to see the posed by the beleagured Indian PM. The question was asked sometime in the morning and 4 people had already answered it when we last checked. Sources in the PMO whom we woke up early morning were tight lipped and grouchy and refused to comment on the news, even on the condi…

Work on artificial Indian government almost complete: CAIR

Tired of jokers running the nation? Can there be a better alternative to arrogant incompetent leadership? Bangalore-based Centre for Artificial Intelligence and Robotics (CAIR) has come up with a working solution to the problem.

Yesterday evening while the entire nation was watching the civil society rise in rebellion against an arrogant government, scientists at CAIR were busy giving final touches to their most enviable creation so far - an artificial intelligence- governance software. CAIR has developed software that can run on almost all operating systems out there and lead the nation efficiently minus corruption.

“Yes it’s true, we have developed software that can run the nation smoothly,” an information rich babucrat scientist said making a loud noise while sipping his tea. CAIR sources have told Humor Unplugged that the software was developed over the last decade by feeding almost all decisions taken by Indian government into a super computer which analysed them and gradually e…

Nation braces itself for record increase in efficiency as Babus go on mass leave

Anna Hazare’s movement against corruption has hopefully scored its first boundary.

Team Anna today asked government employees across the country to go on mass leave on Wednesday to show solidarity with Anna Hazare. The Indian government and citizens across the nation are hoping that the babus will listen to Anna and go a mass unpaid leave tomorrow thereby saving millions and increasing the average national efficiency ratio.

“Yes, you heard it right. Government employees are responsible for a 34.72 percent dip in per capita efficiency in India. If they go on mass leave, just for a day, the national efficiency will rise dramatically and the figures could be mind boggling. These babus have also eclipsed genuine hardworking people in the government and those people may become visible once the incompetent ones goes on mass leave,” an analyst with an international employee productivity firm said.

Humor Unplugged has learnt that lazy bureaucrats across the nation have already decided to go …

Scientists isolate Lady Gaga gene in mice

In what they claim is a breakthrough, scientists at the Maryland, US-based National Human Genome Research Institute have isolated a gene that’s gives rise to Lady Gaga type behavior among rodents. The so-called breakthrough has however been condemned by many scientists and common citizens alike who have asked the institute to indulge in 'serious research' instead of wasting time grabbing headlines.

Sources say that the identified gene is part of a cluster of MMP genes, which localize to chromosome 11q22.3. While in normal humans and mice, its expression is restricted by the epigenome which acts as a repressor, in rare cases, the repression mechanism fails and the gene manages to express itself leading to the birth of what researchers call Ratty Gaga or the rodent version of Lady Gaga.

Scientists associated with the project are excited by the discovery. “This means that you can have the Gaga types among rodents too and that is something we are really gaga about,” a geeky scien…

Breaking news: Dayanidhi Maran caught looting London store during riots

In a development that is sure to cause concern and embarrassment to the Indian government, the UK government has alleged that former union minister and owner of 323 phones Dayanidhi Maran was among the crowd that looted a hardware store in Wood Green High Road during the recent riots. The British High Commission in the national capital has already taken up the matter and submitted evidence to this conclusion to the Indian government while urging it to take immediate and stringent action against Maran.

The incident occurred a few days back when Maran was on a personal visit to London. Sources say that when the former union minister found himself trapped in a mob that was on the rampage, he joined in and looted a few stores and brought the loot to his hotel the same night. He then shipped the goods back home and came back to India on a return flight on Saturday.

Our sources in the government have confirmed the development but refused to confirm the details. “We are currently investiga…

Munching squirrel regrets attack on critical cable

The lone squirrel who attacked a crucial internet landing cable in Mumbai a few days back says he regrets the action and is ready to do anything to wash off his guilt.

Humor Unplugged, the only blog that was given access to the squirrel, met him on Friday along with a squirrel psychologist. He was doing quite well but missing the freedom, his friends and free air outside and wanted to be among the greens, as soon as possible. “He is sorry for what happened on Friday and didn’t realize his action would have such a great impact. He has also promised to be a model squiirel post release and would work towards raising awareness among fellow squirrels against landing cable munching,” his spokesperson said.

As soon as Humor Unplugged published the news of the squirrel being jailed, animals lovers from around the nation got their act together to make a bid for his early release. “Fakenaka Gandhi has already written a templatised letter to the President CCing PM, asking for the squirrel’s qu…

We have evolved a ‘Cold Start’ strategy to take on UPA

BJP President Nitin Gadkari in an exclusive chat with Humor Unplugged’s political editor Rajcreep Sorefakeeye.

Rajcreep: Mr. Gadkari, almost half of the 28-day Monsoon session of parliament is over and the UPA is still unscathed and almost rejoicing over its ability to quell opposition. What exactly is or was your strategy to corner UPA over all that has gone wrong in the last 256 days? 
Gadkari: We have developed a Cold Start strategy to attack the UPA government. But unlike the one formulated by the Indian Army which involves rapid mobilisation of troops, ours involves subtle maneuvers. Our strategy is all about chilling out till the parliament cafeteria snacks arrive and going there and munching on them for the rest of the day. This is going to be our daily routine going forward. In the winter session the same strategy will be applied; but then BJP MPs will sleep late and come to parliament late, head straight to the cafeteria have snacks and then head home after swiping their card…

Munching squirrel attacks National Internet backbone, NSG scrambled

In the wee hours of today morning when the rest of the nation was asleep, an intruder allegedly attacked the country’s internet backbone- a series of servers resting in the nation’s financial capital, Mumbai. The intruder in question, a disgruntled squirrel, chewed away a crucial cable that led to a 3 TB dip in national bandwidth availability. This means that the nation will have to do with less internet, this weekend.

When the attack was first detected, the nation’s premier technical intelligence agency the National Technical Research Organisation (NTRO) thought that the nation’s cyber infrastructure was under attack by forces inimical to the nation and asked the government to take immediate action. The home ministry reacted as usual by scrambling the NSG which reached the scene of crime within minutes only to be shocked beyond belief.

When the NSG commandoes landed at the top-secret venue, they were greeted by the ‘inimical’ perpetrator, a lone squirrel. The servers weren’t attacke…

Post-Aarakshan movie makers rush to get their movies banned

In the aftermath of the movie Aarakshan getting more than enough pre-launch publicity for free, thanks to the reservation controversy, movie makers are working overtime to get their movies banned.

Filmmakers contacted by Humor Unplugged claimed that Aarakshan had showed them how a major pre-release controversy can stimulate viewer interest and guarantee a good opening. Producer/director Suebash Fly, who has just finished shooting his latest venture ‘Monsoon’, a documentary on how the trade winds and El Nino influence the monsoons in India, has gone to town claiming that his movie is downright controversial and has dialogues which might ignite passion in parts of the country such as Telengana that are seeking statehood.

Shah Rukh Khan who is planning to release his magnum opus this Diwali has reportedly added new scenes to his movie in order to accommodate controversial dialogues and has linked his movie to the ongoing controversy on the Lokpal bill. "There is a character…

Raj Thackeray attacks own house, burns it down

Just a day after NASA found more evidence to indicate that all life on planet earth may have originated in space the neo-racist No Nirman Sena chief launched a hate campaign against all earthlings – including himself.

We are aliens?
Scientists have been reporting the presence of building blocks of DNA in meteorites since early 60s, but were unsure whether they were created in space or the result of contamination by terrestrial life. However, latest research conducted by NASA researchers indicates that certain nucleobases - the building blocks of our genetic material – are reaching the Earth on meteorites in greater numbers and diversity than previously thought. The discovery has added to a growing body of evidence that the chemistry inside asteroids and comets is capable of making building blocks of essential biological molecules.

As soon as this news hit the wires a few scientific journals, including the one Raj Thackeray has subscribed to, picked it up and published it on front pag…

Germany declares poking over Facebook illegal

After imposing a blanket ban on tagging pictures on Facebook, Germany has taken another 'concrete' step towards isolating social media users in that country. Germany has asked Facebook to disable the poke feature and given the company two weeks to comply with the diktat.

Hamburg’s data protection agency claims that the poke feature violates German and European privacy laws as well as people’s ability to control their private space. “The other day I when I logged in, nearly 13 people had poked me and 7 of them had thrown sheep at me, which in my opinion is an absolute disgrace. Today you throw sheep online and tomorrow you may graduate to throwing slippers offline on our highly respected and honorable politicians. Where will all this stop,” a German data protection official said.

Hamburg’s data protection agency has threated to impose an exemplary fine of $500 if the “illegal poking business” does not stop by the end of August. “Our chancellor has taken a serious view of the w…

Heavens angry with the way nation is being run

In a clear and apparent indictment of the way the country is being governed, a cloud in the shape of an angry fist appeared in the sky over parliament at 9 am today. Knowledgeable sources have told Humor Unplugged that the cloudy fist indicated growing anger and frustration with UPA in the heavens up above.

“I was the first one to see it today. When I stepped out to wish my neighbour, I saw the cloud and was stunned. It was hovering right over the parliament building. I hope this doesn’t mean anything bad,” a concerned citizen said. But sources contacted by Humor Unplugged didn’t sound so optimistic. “This fist is connected with the way the country is being run. I remember seeing it during emergency, during V P Singh’s rule and even when Devil Gowda was accidently elected the PM,” a political analyst said.

Humor Unplugged as always has obtained the exclusive picture of the nebulous fist of furry. When contacted, UPA troubleshooter Kapil Sibal dismissed the cloud as nothing but a gath…

Clown files PIL against Bipasha Basu's 'offensive' cookie ad

Bipasha Basu’s latest ad where she takes almost 30 seconds to bite into a McVitie's Digestive biscuit has apparently offended some clowns in the country. Some guy acting on behalf of Rastriya Sabhita Rakshak Morcha (RSRM), the self-appointed guardian of Indian culture, has filed a PIL against the ad  in a Mumbai court on Thursday, sources said. 
“She has offended our culture, our ethos and has made a mockery of our civilisation. She shouldn’t have eaten the biscuit in such an offensive manner. Just look at her no one in India eats anything like that. She owes an apology to the nation and the biscuit makers have to withdraw the ad immediately,” the guy who filed the PIL said.  He desperately wanted us to publish his name in this post but we decided to deny him the honor.  

As the day progressed yesterday, a huge mob gathered outside Bipasha’s flat in Mumbai and tried to barge in. A watchman who tried to stop the mob was conveniently dumped outside the premises and the mob then we…

Nation celebrates International Beer Day

International Beer Day was celebrated with much fervour and vibrancy across the nation today. People started thronging bars, pubs and other places in the wee hours to pay their respects to the king of drinks. President, PM and other leaders greeted the nation on the occasion and urged citizens to imbibe the 'better things' symbolized by beer.

Speaking at a special event organized in Parliament, President Pratibha Patil said “scams, defeat of the Indian team overseas, bloodbath at sensex and corruption symbolize the reality of our times. We are indeed going through a rough patch and need to look up to anything that offers hope and joy even if it is momentary”. Speaking at the same function, Agriculture minister Sharad Pawar said that the nation was now self-sufficient in beer production and the credit for this should go to his government and not some beer-guzzling calendar pedaling senile casanova wannabe.

A special portrait of beer baron Vijay Mallya was unveiled in the Centr…

NASA says new US debt ceiling will not hold

India’s National Association of Soothsayers and Astrologers (NASA) has stated that the recently increased US debt ceiling will not hold for long, since certain planetary positions of Obama and USA are not very ‘favourable’ as of now.

Speaking exclusively to Humor Unplugged from the Times of India office in Mumbai, NASA head Aestroechaareei said “In Mr Obama’s astro charts, Mars has just moved into the 8th house after being forced to vacate the 7th house following repossession of property. Further, Jupiter has temporarily moved out to the 3rd house as his flat is currently being renovated. These two changes mean that any decision taken by Obama over the next 90 days will be subject to all kinds of risks and there are chances that it may not meet the desired objectives”. Times of India, which has more astrologers on its payroll than editors, will be publishing this story over the next few days.

He also said that the astro charts of USA are also not all that encouraging. “USA is going …

Drainage Sunflower appears in Bangalore; civic body claims credit

Monsoon rains brought some cheer for the embattled Bangalore Water Supply and Sewerage Board BWSSB in Bangalore, last evening. In a miracle of sorts, an overflowing sewage drain pushed a manhole out neatly and created what experts called a ‘drainage sunflower’.

The event, which is very rare and is known to occur only once in a millennium, happened when the political drama in the state was at its highest, yesterday. A local BWSSB engineer who was on a routine ‘avoid aggrieved monsoon harassed citizens’ mode was quietly slipping away from the back door of his office, when he noticed the strange phenomenon. He immediately called his seniors who were hiding inside the building and within no time a mob surrounded the drainage, blocking cops and media folks from witnessing the ‘miracle’.

“This is a miracle and indicates divine blessings for our new CM who is a proxy CM of our former CM. The gods up there have decided to bless him and extend their wishes through this miracle,” a local BJP w…

Venkaiah Naidu broke his own laptop: sources

In a shocking revelation, sources have confirmed that it was not former Karnataka CM B S Yeddyurappa who broke senior BJP leader Venkaiah Naidu’s laptop few days back. Instead, the laptop was broken by Naidu himself out of sheer frustration, thanks to Yeddyurappa’s brazen antics.

The sequence of events that led to the tragedy is as follows. When Naidu came down to Bangalore, he immediately rushed to meet Yeddyurappa to convince him to resign. But instead of agreeing to the demand, Yeddy refused to meet Naidu and called up NDTV journalist and stalking pain Barkha Dutt and told her that Naidu had an exclusive scoop for her. Barkha then flew down to Bangalore and started chasing Naidu everywhere, asking him to share the scoop.

Naidu however, continued his efforts to woo Yeddy. But this time Yeddy tried another rotten trick to derail Naidu’s efforts. Through his henchmen, Yeddy spread rumours about Naidu’s alleged affair with a budding local starlet and when Naidu’s wife heard the rumou…

M S Dhoni temple vanishes overnight

In what could a telling commentary on the varying degree of affiliation of Indian fans with the Indian cricket team, a temple in Ranchi devoted to skipper M S Dhoni has vanished overnight after England inflicted a crushing defeat on Team India yesterday.

“It was over there (pointing to vacant land) till yesterday night. Yesterday, I had gone there and conducted some poojas(rituals) for the Indian team. The priest of the temple who is a former cricketer himself had assured me that the team will win this test match irrespective of the current situation. Today morning when I came to collect a pair of keeping gloves as blessings, the temple was not there. The priest was nowhere to be seen and the whole area wore a deserted look. I wonder what happened,” a puzzled team India devote said.

When we contacted the cops in the area, they said that the matter was under investigation and it is too early to blog. “In the future when the team wins again, the temple will be back and you will have a…