Dinosaurs had a massive farewell party before apocalypse

Scientists have unearthed fresh evidence that suggests dinos didn’t go down quietly as previously believed.

Noted palaeontologist Dr. Hammerschmidst has been studying dinosaurs for over 3 decades now. As a young graduate from the University of Wyoming, the doc had proposed a radical theory that was ridiculed and pooh poohed by dino experts from around the world. Hammerschmidst’s (then) preliminary research suggested that the dinos assembled across the planet in different groups and had a huge farewell party before an Iridium rich asteroid smashed into earth causing their extinction.

"Yes, thirty years back on July 12th I had proposed my theory on a massive pre-extinction party hosted by dinos all over the world. I was immediately banished from the league of extraordinary palaeontologists and declared an outcast. But I didn’t give up and continued my research with funding from some generous folks and today I am happy to announce that we have unearthed evidence that suggests I was right,” the doc told Humor Unplugged over Skype chat from his home in San Mateo.

An artists impression of a
DJ T Rex at the event

Hammerschmidst’s team has found fossils across the planet that suggest that a massive party was on till just a few minutes before the asteroid crashed into earth. “Somehow the dinos got to know that they were about to perish and all of them decided to get together for one final bash. Now this was one huge party with dinos from across species and continents, partaking in the event. The party slowed down when the six-mile-in-diameter asteroid hit Chicxulub in the Yucatan but didn't stop completely till large dinos started collapsing like nine pins due to the toxic atmosphere and heat that resulted. It was in fact still on when the skies turned red due to the heat released by the asteroid impact.” Hammerschmidst said.

Evidence for the doomsday party has come from across the world right from Chile, Mexico, Bosnia, Japan, Australia, India, Syria, Kenya, Ghana and Hammerschmidst is sure that there might be some clinching evidence in the island of Madagascar where fossil hunters are still at work. “Madagascar is definitely holding a big clue to the whole story and I am sure we will be able to unearth the final piece of the jigsaw puzzle before my paper is published in the October edition of National Palaeontologist. I am afraid I will not be able to share more details, or pictures of the evidence we have unearthed as of now,” he said.    

Hammerschmidst feels that there is a lesson in the whole episode for humans. “You see before they realized that there is an asteroid on the way to wipe them out, the dinos were a crazy lot. Divided by groups, species, size, habitat and pelvic structure, the dinos never felt they were one family till almost a day before the event. That is when they decided to come together for one final party. I feel that us humans will also suffer the same fate as we are also behaving like these dinos, thinking we are an immortal lot. All it takes is an asteroid to change its course by a few meters to turn us into a footnote in history. So it is important that we learn from the dinos and live together in peace before the final party. Apocalypse is inevitable but we can enjoy the time we have together,” Hammerschmidst said.

Hammerschmidst’s paper will be presented in October at the Annual Palaeontologist’s convention in Basel. He will be welcomed back into the fold at the event.