After Standard & Poor's, Al Qaeeda downgrades United States

After Standard & Poor's downgraded US’ long term rating due to political risks and debt burden, Al Qaeda has followed suit and downgraded US’s attack worthiness from ‘The Great Satan’ to ‘ Tasmanian Devil’. The change is widely seen as a huge downgrade and attributed to the prevailing political chaos and economic uncertainty in the US. The new rating will be effective immediately and Al Qaeda cadres across the globe have been informed of the same.

Ayman al-Zawahri

Al Qaeda communication intercepted by intelligence agencies suggest that the downgrade was enacted over a meeting that happened sometime early last week. The meeting was presided over by the new Al Qaeda CEO Ayman al-Zawahri and attended by his directs from across the world. Analysts suggest that the new rating means that US will now be ignored by Al Qaeeda for sometime till it becomes ‘attack worthy’ again and the ratings revised.

“The Great Satan has been plagued by problems created by himself. He is no longer a worthy opponent and we will not be making him bite his own fingers anytime soon,” a self-proclaimed spokesperson of Al Qaeda posted on Humor Unplugged’s wall. The spokesperson also claimed that Ayman al-Zawahri was very angry with TV Channel Star World for broadcasting a show which brought together two of the biggest weirdoes on the planet – Lady Gaga and Lady Simi Garewal.