Munching squirrel regrets attack on critical cable

The lone squirrel who attacked a crucial internet landing cable in Mumbai a few days back says he regrets the action and is ready to do anything to wash off his guilt.

The delinquent  in judicial custody

Humor Unplugged, the only blog that was given access to the squirrel, met him on Friday along with a squirrel psychologist. He was doing quite well but missing the freedom, his friends and free air outside and wanted to be among the greens, as soon as possible. “He is sorry for what happened on Friday and didn’t realize his action would have such a great impact. He has also promised to be a model squiirel post release and would work towards raising awareness among fellow squirrels against landing cable munching,” his spokesperson said.

As soon as Humor Unplugged published the news of the squirrel being jailed, animals lovers from around the nation got their act together to make a bid for his early release. “Fakenaka Gandhi has already written a templatised letter to the President CCing PM, asking for the squirrel’s quick release and we are hoping he will be pardoned this independence day,” a squirrel rights activist said.

Union home minister P Chiduji said “I cannot guarantee his early release as the law will have to take its own meandering course. if anyone wants to however go on a fast on the issue in the national capital, they should file a 500 page application in triplicate along with a 10000 word essay on any topic of their choice with us at the earliest. The nation should know that all prime fasting spaces have already been booked by various groups for the Independence Day weekend fasting marathon”.

VSNL sources meanwhile said that the cable has been repaired and the internet bandwidth dip has been rectified. “We have made the new cable squirrel proof by removing peanut oil in the sheathing. The peanut oil used to attract all kinds of rodents and that will no longer be the case,” a VSNL guy said.