NASA says new US debt ceiling will not hold

India’s National Association of Soothsayers and Astrologers (NASA) has stated that the recently increased US debt ceiling will not hold for long, since certain planetary positions of Obama and USA are not very ‘favourable’ as of now.

Speaking exclusively to Humor Unplugged from the Times of India office in Mumbai, NASA head Aestroechaareei said “In Mr Obama’s astro charts, Mars has just moved into the 8th house after being forced to vacate the 7th house following repossession of property. Further, Jupiter has temporarily moved out to the 3rd house as his flat is currently being renovated. These two changes mean that any decision taken by Obama over the next 90 days will be subject to all kinds of risks and there are chances that it may not meet the desired objectives”. Times of India, which has more astrologers on its payroll than editors, will be publishing this story over the next few days.

Is the ceiling high enough?

He also said that the astro charts of USA are also not all that encouraging. “USA is going through a bad phase as of now. US’s astro charts clearly show that the wives of Mercury and Mars are having a tiff over a parking spot right outside Mars’ house. This means the nation will have to face hardship and that is inevitable,” Aestroechaareei said.

Aestroechaareei said that the only way out of this quagmire is to hold a ritual for calming the planets and soothing the interplanetary friction. “We have a ritual for everything and we can deliver on any model of your choice. You can chose the cloud model, wherein the ritual will be performed from India with our resources or the Ritual as a Service (RaaS) model wherein you will have to provide resources for the ritual to be done in India. The final choice is the onsite option wherein we will conduct the ritual at your place using your resources. We accept all cards and paypal transfers” the astrologer said.