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China's Global Times hacked. Displays true stories for the first time ever

Yes, you have heard it right. World's biggest bull****ing publication run by Chinese bot-heads Global Times was hacked in the wee hours of today morning.Instead of defacing the website, hackers chose to post true stories that they found hidden in their data server.  The result was that for the first time, a Chinese publication spoke the truth. The stories included a series of admissions. China accepted the fact that it was responsible for Coronavirus becoming a global pandemic. China also admitted that it's People Liberation Army (PLA) was no match for the Indian Army. A senior Chinese bureaucrat was quoted admitting that China had stolen tech from US for its fighter aircraft, nuclear plants and warships. The funniest part was where Global Times goes hammer and tongs on China's vassal states pakistan and North Korea. "These two states have mortgaged their lands and future to China and put together, they are as useful as a plague for the people of China," accordin…

Arnab Goswami receives the first consignment of drugs, thanks supporters

After his drug do, drug do, drug do, mujhe drug do, mere liye gaanja laao, charas laao, ecstasy laao rant went viral, a leading underworld figure stepped in and sent Arnab all the drugs he had asked for in that late evening rant.“Since the last few weeks, Arnab has been showing withdrawal symptoms. He was only asking 13 questions to everyone he met during his morning jog instead of the usual 57. We were worried about him. I was told he had run out of some designer drug that he used to take. Today morning when I met him., he was in his elements. He greeted me by calling me an urban Naxal, asking me to prove my Indianness and claiming that I had lowered the dignity of the country by ordering vegetables online. That’s the Arnab I have always known. He seems to be fine now,” said a neighbor.Sources as reliable as a position taken by Kangana Ranaut, have told Humor Unplugged that a vendor who supplies Goswami with custom ‘grass’, had gone out of service after the prolonged lockdown in Mumb…

Provision of make-up kits in choppers was never asked for or promised: Indian Air Force

Netflix film Gunjan Saxena: The Kargil Girl is in the news for only the wrong reasons. Among all the wrong portrayals, a new one has come to the surface. A retired IAF official who was instrumental in training the first batch of women pilots for the Indian Air Force claimed that unlike what was depicted in the movie, IAF had never made any provision for having make-up kits inside choppers. “This is completely wrong. Neither did anyone request for it nor was it ever provided,” the retired Wing Commander told Humor Unplugged when quizzed over the scene where Gunjan Saxena is seen as celebrating when IAF provides a make-up kit within the chopper operated by Saxena. The movie shows Saxena facing all kinds of harassment with the biggest (according to the movie) being asked to fly a chopper that lacks a make-up kit and a hairdryer. The movie shows Saxena complaining about this to her brother who asks Saxena to run away to the mountains and open a Yoga clinc there. “This is beyond ridiculous…

Coronavirus is China’s greatest contribution yet to mankind: Xi Jinping

Chinese Coronavirus kingpin Xi Jinping today hailed Coronavirus as China’s greatest contribution yet. At a meeting of commie politburo potheads, Jinping congratulated all Chinese citizens and the armed forces for their contribution in creating a disruption that “helped China take revenge on the world and strongly impose its imprint and belligerence”. The occasion was an event organized to celebrate the completion of 10 months since China detected the first Covid-19 case in Wuhan. It spent the remaining months suppressing the information and allowing patients to travel abroad so that the virus could be transmitted to other countries. It also made WHO underplay the seriousness of the pandemic while it deployed its armed forces to contain Covid-19 within its borders. The virus was spread by the country as part of China's Prick and Mortar project also known as the One Road One Bully project. “It is with great pride that I, Xi Jinping announce that our attempts to let the world know of…

Spying, hacking, IP theft and overall meddling in geopolitical affairs almost back to normal: China

In a sign of things improving for China, Commie Progress Wielder Xi Ninepin today claimed that his country’s recovery from Covid-19 was almost complete.“I am hysterical and overflowing with joy as I report that we are now back to normal. By normal I mean hacking and stealing data, intruding into neighbor’s territories, and irritating the global community in general. Just a few days ago we were threatened by an island nation in the pacific when we tried to infringe on their sovereignty and if that is not a sign of good times, I don’t know what is,” said Xi Ninepin.In addition to spreading Covid-19, China has been bothering its neighbors and selling cheap junk in the name of PPE equipment. To put things in perspective, over 59 percent of people around the world want China to be expunged from the global community of nations, its occupied territories freed and a travel ban to be imposed on that country. Previously, China indulged in nuclear proliferation, propped up rogue states, and even…

Poaching threat: Arnab Goswami’s new maid shifted to Taj Mumbai

The war between India’s leading examples of non-thyroid or senility driven maniac behavior, Republic TV’s Arnab Goswami, and India Today’s Rajdeep Sardesai escalated recently. The two got into a major struggle over a maid on Monday, leading to an exchange of less than pleasant words on both sides.
The chain of events was triggered when Arnab’s old maid Aluminum Devi quit (wanted to pursue better opportunities outside Arnab’s domestic terminal). Her replacement was hired after Arnab hired an international talent search agency who, after due diligence, selected a suitable candidate who had a problem with her hearing abilities. This made her an ideal candidate as she had to put up with Arnab’s voice modulation sessions, which used to go on for nearly 7 hours at a stretch sometimes. During these sessions, he used to scream, shout, howl, threaten, and behave like Greta Thunberg’s vocal uncle.
When Rajdeep learned of his rival hiring a new maid, he thought of doing the same as well since his …

Pakistan Air Force patches