85 percent of studies bogus, cooked up and unreliable: study

A study carried out by noted and worded ‘studyiologist’ Dr. Hammerschmidst has revealed that as much as 85% of research carried out by all kinds of institutions and quoted by various newspapers and magazines are false. His findings, which will be presented at an international seminar on studies in September, set the record straight as far as the modus operandi such fake studies are concerned.

Yea, like we didn't know that

“Most of the studies we analysed can be categorised into 3 categories – for the media, by the media and attention grabbers. Most of these studies have no scientific basis and are done by researchers and scientists who are either free or are not engaged in any research that could have positive consequences for mankind,” Dr. Hammerschmidst said. He also said that there were studies done by some to support a way of thinking. “A study should be conducted under strict conditions and there are over 500 parameters that need to be defined and monitored under strict observation standards and we found that none of the studies we analyzed did that,” Dr. Hammerschmidst said.

Dr. Hammerschmidst has asked the government to bring a comprehensive bill in parliament to regulate such studies. “I might consider fasting for this one. But when the government didn’t listen to Anna in the first place do you think I stand a chance,” he asked.

Offlate the media has been inundated by bogus studies suggesting obvious results with headlines like “study finds water useful for human body’, ‘study links obesity to gain in weight, ‘study finds anxiety leads to nervousness’ and so on. Therefore we commissioned Dr. Hammerschmidst to do a study for us to find out if there is any grain of truth in such studies.