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Showing posts from October, 2012

White House ghosts evenly split between Obama and Romney

A survey of resident ghosts of the White House has not shown a clear winner.

The US presidential race is evenly split and there are no two ways about it. The even split in votes goes all the way transgressing the alive world right into the nether world. A survey of ghosts of former US presidents residing in the US president’s home in Washington DC by The Pacific Paranormal Society (TIPS) has shown that 49 percent of them back Obama while 48 percent want Romney to be the next resident of the White House. 3 percent were outside coverage area, presumably away haunting other places when TIPS tried reaching them. This poll has a margin of error of 2-3 percent, TIPS said.

The poll covered a range of subjects close to ghosts including foreign policy, healthcare and ofcourse, jobs. “The race is too close to call even in next plane. We contacted over 23 former US presidents as part of this wacky opinion poll and found that both the 2012 presidential candidates have nearly equal backing among …

Obnoxious party spokespersons..

China opens up its Gulags to Foreign Direct Investment

When it comes to international embarrassment, China is a seasoned veteran. It has been embarrassed so many times globally over human rights violation, illegal occupation of territories, drug and arms running, selling contaminated milk, trading in nukes etc that it has formed a special ministry to deal with international episodes of embarrassment.

The latest instance of Chinese discomfort occurred when the Nobel committee announced that Chinese author Mo Yan had won the Nobel Prize for literature. As the word spread within China, the government tried hard to locate him. As most authors, journalists, bloggers, artists and other creatively blessed people in China are held in over 1000 gulags (Laogais as the Chinese call them) spread across the country, the task of locating him became quite difficult. The PLA was called and so were military reservists who were asked to check mines, quarries and slave labor camps across china to trace him.

A division of China's cyber offensive wing ev…

I am not going to wear a LPG cap: Priyanka Chopra

Alleged actor Priyanka Chopra has lashed out at the Indian government for ‘making citizens wear a LPG cap’. The wooden or rather plastic actor attacked the central government for ‘ignoring the sensitivities of fashion-abiding citizens’.

“Yes, I have heard about the LPG cap and I am completely against it. How can you make an entire nation wear a similar cap just because a few individuals in the government feel so? I mean it is so lame. Even if it is a good looking cap, still you shouldn’t expect the entire country to wear it,” she said trying to flash one of her 100 percent plastic smiles at reporters who ran helter skelter trying to avoid seeing it. But it was too late for a few who collapsed on the spot as soon as they witnessed the spooky smile.

“I will protest against this. This is not fair and there are things other than caps that the government needs to focus on. Haven’t they noticed how the prices of essential cosmetics are sky rocketing? At this rate, people will soon have t…

Kejriwal has evidence of life outside the solar system: IAC

In a shocking development, India Against Corruption (IAC) has claimed that Arvind Kejriwal had recently stumbled upon irrefutable proof of life outside the solar system. IAC claimed that it will come out with more details in a press conference to be held on November 11 in Silchar, West Bengal.

“Yes, it is true, we have come across evidence to support the assertion that life has evolved outside the confines of our solar system. We came across strong evidence to this effect while we were busy sifting through tons of documentation and other material to prove the involvement of various politicians in scams across the country. A senior member of the current government is aware of this,” an IAC spokesperson said.
IAC claims that it also has evidence for plenty of things, including alien visitation, and will reveal them at a convenient time.  

NASA and SETI declined to comment on the development.

Drones pound Imran Khan’s anti-drone march

Drones belonging to the US attacked Imran Khan’s anti drone rally on Saturday evening angering the former cricketer and his three die-hard supporters in Pakistan.

As per schedule, by evening on Saturday, the motorcade of the Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaaf (PTI) had reached Dera Ismail Khan. After this, the entourage decided to halt at D. I. Khan for the night. Imran Khan soon got busy tweeting about the ‘long drive’, but was shaken by a series of loud explosions.

“What the ___________.Looks the local population is celebrating our arrival by exploding crackers. A big hi going out to all PTI supporters and well-wishers here. Inshallah, if PTI comes to power, we will capture US drones and use them to irrigate crops in the area,” Khan tweeted. At this point he was not aware that the explosions were not crackers, but US drones taking out his SuVs.

As soon as Khan was informed about the drones attacking his convoy, he changed tracks. He asked his followers to abandon the SuVs and switch to loca…

Indian T-20 World Cup team to star in NGC’s ‘Banged up abroad’

After making an early exit from the T-20 World Cup, the Indian cricket team has some reason to cheer. Executives from National Geographic Channel’s holiday horror series 'Banged up abroad' have offered them $3mn to share their tragic story on TV. BCCI sources have confirmed that the team has been approached by NGC with an 'ok' offer and the team was actively considering it.    

“The matter is under consideration at the highest levels within BCCI. The performance of the Indian team in Sri Lanka broadly fits into the format that the NGC team is looking at and we are also more than willing to share our story with them so that it reaches out to the broader audience. It has been a horror story all the way and we would like someone to document the team’s disastrous performance in Lanka,” a senior BCCI administrator said.

Once the modalities are worked out, a script writer will be assigned to key members of the Indian team to prepare a story, sources said.