Coming soon – a shampoo for politicians

FMCG major Procter and Gamble has announced that it will be launching a new shampoo exclusively for Indian politicians. In a posting on the company’s Facebook community page, P&G says that the shampoo developed after almost 5 years of research is now ready for sale and will hit the shelves as early as next week.

The brand
ambassador

Noted shampoologist Dr. Hammerschmidst who spearheaded the project is excited by the launch. Speaking to us from his lab in Gangtok, he said “This shampoo is more slimy and slippery than the usual Head & Shoulders. It smells like newly printed currency notes and keeps hair slippery and shiny – just the way these politicians want. We have removed  anti-dandruff and tick removing chemicals from the shampoo as these political parasites are rarely affected by microbial parasites like fungi and protozoans”.

The smell of currency notes will help politicians stay calm under tense situations such as parliamentary debates and will also help MPs bond with each other. “The smell of currency notes is like a pheromone for politicians as they are attracted to it like flies. Mostly, politicians have good memories associated with currency notes and it promotes an overall sense of wellbeing even while they are flinging footwear or throwing microphones,” the doc added.

To earn tax concessions from various state governments, the product will be sold and marketed as an ayurvedic formulation, sources said. To ensure that the honourable, highly educated and aristocratic politicians are able to relate to the product, the shampoo bottles will be shaped like a slipper. CWG clown Suresh Kalmadi has been chosen as the brand ambassador of the product.