Give us the nukes directly: Al Qaeeda
World’s number one terror group Al Qaeeda has urged the US government to sign a nuclear deal with it, instead of signing one with the Pakistan government. The request was made by Al Qaeeda’s permanent represent in Pakistan, Mullah Gomar on Sunday at a well attended press conference organized by the media cell of the Pakistan army.
Al Qaeeda has alleged that by giving the nukes to Pakistani government, there will be substantial delay in converting them into Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMDs). “The Pakistani government cannot even assemble a cracker properly, let alone process spent fuel and convert them into WMDs. Also, by the time Pakistan hands over the weapons, they would already have degraded, thereby affecting its nuisance value,” Gomar said.
Urging Noble Peace prize winner Obama to release the nukes to Al Qaeeda asap, Gomar said “What’s the point in signing an agreement with Pakistan if the nukes will anyway reach us? Pak government will anyway give us these weapons and so they should sign the deal with us and we will ensure that the weapons are used to create mayhem and destruction in nations around the world at the earliest”.
USA has meanwhile agreed to consider the request favorably. “This is inline with our efforts to hide Pakistan’s stellar role in 26-11 and even 9-11. We are immensely pleased with all the destruction caused by Pakistan so far. They are the number one threat to world peace and are giving sleepless nights to governments across the world. In such a situation, we might work out a deal to keep both the parties (Al Qaeeda and Pak government) happy,” a US embassy (in Pakistan) spokesperson told Humor Unplugged.
Al Qaeeda has alleged that by giving the nukes to Pakistani government, there will be substantial delay in converting them into Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMDs). “The Pakistani government cannot even assemble a cracker properly, let alone process spent fuel and convert them into WMDs. Also, by the time Pakistan hands over the weapons, they would already have degraded, thereby affecting its nuisance value,” Gomar said.
Urging Noble Peace prize winner Obama to release the nukes to Al Qaeeda asap, Gomar said “What’s the point in signing an agreement with Pakistan if the nukes will anyway reach us? Pak government will anyway give us these weapons and so they should sign the deal with us and we will ensure that the weapons are used to create mayhem and destruction in nations around the world at the earliest”.
USA has meanwhile agreed to consider the request favorably. “This is inline with our efforts to hide Pakistan’s stellar role in 26-11 and even 9-11. We are immensely pleased with all the destruction caused by Pakistan so far. They are the number one threat to world peace and are giving sleepless nights to governments across the world. In such a situation, we might work out a deal to keep both the parties (Al Qaeeda and Pak government) happy,” a US embassy (in Pakistan) spokesperson told Humor Unplugged.
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