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Showing posts from January, 2008

Bucknor a scarecrow???

Bowing in to pressure from millions of cricket fans in India, ICC has agreed to deport Steve bucknor to India. A decision to this effect was taken at a emergency meeting organized by the International Chappar Council in Dubai today.

Bucknor, it may be recalled, had gone into hiding after his valiant efforts helped Australia win the second test at Sydney. He was caught some days ago dressed as a scarecrow wandering around a corn field on the outskirts of Sydney. Bucknor was discovered when he tried to tease some Indian fans, who had come to the farm to relax after the stressful match.

Initially, they thought that the scarecrow was a dummy one and ignored it. However, soon the two fans were in for a shock when the scarecrow gave out a chuckle when Tendulkar’s name was mentioned. The shocked duo then saw the scarecrow come alive and shower profanities on the Indian team. Recovering from this initial fright, the Indian duo went in for a closer look and found that the guy was none other th…

Karat is all praise for bucknor

In what could be termed as a revolting development, commie joker Prakash Karrot aka pukky carrot has come out openly in favor of cheap duckbucknor. Speaking to mediapersons in the capital, he said that all of bucknors decisions were good ones and claimed that it was the Indian team which
was at fault for not agreeing with the u(va)mpire.

According to karat, the Indian team should have played in the true sprit of the game like the Chinese often do. When reminded that the Chinese sportsmen were using unknown chemicals and performance enhancers, karat said that such chemicals were part of the spirit of the game. When a journo pointed out that the Chinese do not play cricket, he said that India should help china build a cricket team and added that he will pull down the up(m)a government if they did not dispatch a high-level delegation of Indian cricketers to teach the border violators cricket soon.

Coming back to bucknor, karat claimed that the goofy umpire was one of the best umpires he…

I dont know what racism is: Symonds

Bored Massoomdar catches up with the joker of aussie cricket Andrew Symonds.
BM: What’s your problem? You have been behaving like a complete freak over the last few days. Care to explain?

AS: Its all due to Ram Gopal Varma and he is the culprit…

BM: What? How? You must be kidding…

AS: No I am serious. A dvd of RGV ki aaj is stuck in my PC and I am forced to see the movie everytime I log in to check my mail or browse the net. I am loosing my mind and whatever sanity I ever had.

BM: of all the excuses that I have heard so far this one takes the cake. Even if you were out of your mind, you shouldn’t have leveled such a serious allegation against an Indian player.

AS: You must be a big racist to ask such questions.

BM: Do you even know what the word means?

AS: Am not very sure. Steve Bucknor asked me to use this word in the charges leveled against Harbhajan.

BM: You mean you used such a critical word in such a casual manner?

AS: No idea what you are talking about my vocabulary is not very impress…

We have bribed the Sydney umpires: Ricky Ponting

We have bribed the Sydney umpires: Ricky Ponting

He has been described as the worst thing to happen to global cricket since steve bucknor. Ricky Ponting is easily one of the most uncharismatic, foul mouthed and uncultured captain ever. In this exclusive interview with Rajcreep Sorefakeeye, Ricky admits that he and his team have actually bribed the umpires for the Sydney test.

RS: You and your boys behaved like a bunch of uncivilized freaks the other day. Do you have an iota of sportsman sprit in you?

Ponting: I would rather win than be a good sport. Besides when you have paid the umpires a whopping amount to fix the game, you deserve to enjoy that extra bit.

RS: You mean you actually bribed the umps?

Ponting: I would like to term it ‘match adjustment fee’. Actually we only bribed the first and third umpires. Steve bucknor agreed to do our bid for free as he hates India anyway. Infact he was ready to pay us for this. The third umpire was a bit more costly but finally agreed to our te…

Laugh a minute: Kissa Kuchi ka

Its traditional name is kaupeena and the synonyms are equally, if not more, interesting. The brief, Langot or the underwear or simply the chaddi has found reference in many puzzling contexts. This piece is dedicated to one of the most inconspicuous garments in human history.

Down the ages

The original langot or brief was of course made of leaves. This may have something to do with the easy availability of raw material. The scary part is imagining what the wearer would have done in winter. As the human race stepped on the evolutionary pedal, the langots too evolved. References to langots were however considered a taboo and shopping for one continued to be a tedious affair.

Our superheroes have been the traditional guardians of the underwear. These guys have strived to highlight an aspect of man that would have otherwise stayed hidden. Tarzan has undoubtedly been one of the biggest brand ambassadors the langot has ever seen. The joke goes like this…once Tarzan came across a dead leopard …

I have a problem with India:Steve Bucknor

This guy is more of a vampire rather than an umpire. Blind as a bat, deaf as a post, Cheap Ducknor is nothing but a dumb guy who believes in seeking cheap thrills. Our sports correspondent Bored Masoomdoor interviewed the jerk and came back convinced about his sub-human intellect and abysmal knowledge of the rules of cricket.
BM: What seems to be your problem, Mr Ducknor? Why is the Indian team at the receiving end of your poor decisions?

CD: Who said that? I cannot see anyone but can hear some voices. Can you come closer?

BM: I am sitting opposite to you. Do you have problems with your eyes?

CD: Yeah and I cannot hear much either.

BM: Ok, forget that and answer my question.

CD: Its all due to the Indian film industry.

BM: How is that?

CD: Some years ago I had approached a famous Indian director for a role in an upcoming movie. I was to be the lead joker of the movie. The movie never took off and all my dreams were grounded and I swore revenge. It was then that I decided to become an umpire …

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