I dont know what racism is: Symonds

Bored Massoomdar catches up with the joker of aussie cricket Andrew Symonds.
BM: What’s your problem? You have been behaving like a complete freak over the last few days. Care to explain?

AS: Its all due to Ram Gopal Varma and he is the culprit…

BM: What? How? You must be kidding…

AS: No I am serious. A dvd of RGV ki aaj is stuck in my PC and I am forced to see the movie everytime I log in to check my mail or browse the net. I am loosing my mind and whatever sanity I ever had.

BM: of all the excuses that I have heard so far this one takes the cake. Even if you were out of your mind, you shouldn’t have leveled such a serious allegation against an Indian player.

AS: You must be a big racist to ask such questions.

BM: Do you even know what the word means?

AS: Am not very sure. Steve Bucknor asked me to use this word in the charges leveled against Harbhajan.

BM: You mean you used such a critical word in such a casual manner?

AS: No idea what you are talking about my vocabulary is not very impressive but even then I will call you a racist. Infact I use that word very often. Yesterday, my newspaper guy dropped my newspaper on my neighbor’s lawn and I called him a racist. Then at the bar, when the barman delayed my drink I called him a racist too. Infact I have stuck a sticker on my car bumper that says ‘honk if you are a racist’.

BM: Does your skipper know what a racist means?

AS: He told me that it refers to someone who repairs cycles. Not sure if that the correct definition.

BM: Why are you so offended by the term monkey?

AS: Are you kidding? That word is a curse it is used to indicate some disease or something. Again I am not sure if that correct.

BM: Did you ever attend school?

AS: What does school mean?

BM: Never mind…you guys need help…lets stop the interview here.

Bored Masoomdar,
Sports editor