Shocking expose: After spot and match fixing, it is session fixing – that too inside parliament
Sustained investigations by Humor Unplugged have revealed that the scourge of ‘fixing’ has reached the sanctum sanatorium of Indian democracy - the national parliament. Our probe has found that the nation’s parliamentarians were indulging in session rigging at the behest of bookies.
The shocking truth is that Indian MPs are taking money to create drama in parliament. Bookies, who have such MPs on their rolls, are able to predict the behavior of a set of MPs on the floor of the house. MPs are paid to create disruptions, tear papers, scream, shout howl or indulge in ‘unparliamentary’ behavior with prior notification to bookies. The bookie then goes ahead and enters into a deal with the real fixers based on the information shared by the purchased MPs. The MPs are paid when they appear at state and national events, funerals etc where the agents of bookies exchange khadi jackets to transfer money.
Humor Unplugged has learnt that some of the MPs are even paid to keep quiet. “It is based on your personality. For example, someone like Deve Gowda who goes to parliament just to sleep, will be paid to stay awake during a session or someone like a Lallo who is normally active may be paid to stay quiet throughout a session. MPs are also paid to do things like abuse a fellow MP, rush to the well of the house (X number of times) or even be thrown out. The idea is to ensure that the behavior of the MPs is inline with the commitment he or she gave to the bookie. This is why we were asking for a hike, so that we don’t need to depend on these bookies for earning extra income,” a MP from a North Indian state said during the course of our sting operation.
Humor Unplugged’s sting operation covered over 45 MPs in both houses of parliament. A bookie contacted by your favorite blog was able to successfully predict the outcome of two sessions (opposition walkout, passage of bill, adjournment etc) with 100 percent accuracy. He was also able to tell us which MP will walkout or create a din in the house during sessions. This bookie told Humor Unplugged that he had over 150 MPs on his roll and could easily dictate the proceedings and base bets on the same.
“I had always had the suspicion that the proceedings of the house were rigged. It was not as if these MPs were ever interested in the welfare of the nation or its people. They were here to simply earn a few bucks quickly and then wither away,” said a citizen who didn’t want to be named.
The shocking truth is that Indian MPs are taking money to create drama in parliament. Bookies, who have such MPs on their rolls, are able to predict the behavior of a set of MPs on the floor of the house. MPs are paid to create disruptions, tear papers, scream, shout howl or indulge in ‘unparliamentary’ behavior with prior notification to bookies. The bookie then goes ahead and enters into a deal with the real fixers based on the information shared by the purchased MPs. The MPs are paid when they appear at state and national events, funerals etc where the agents of bookies exchange khadi jackets to transfer money.
Humor Unplugged has learnt that some of the MPs are even paid to keep quiet. “It is based on your personality. For example, someone like Deve Gowda who goes to parliament just to sleep, will be paid to stay awake during a session or someone like a Lallo who is normally active may be paid to stay quiet throughout a session. MPs are also paid to do things like abuse a fellow MP, rush to the well of the house (X number of times) or even be thrown out. The idea is to ensure that the behavior of the MPs is inline with the commitment he or she gave to the bookie. This is why we were asking for a hike, so that we don’t need to depend on these bookies for earning extra income,” a MP from a North Indian state said during the course of our sting operation.
Humor Unplugged’s sting operation covered over 45 MPs in both houses of parliament. A bookie contacted by your favorite blog was able to successfully predict the outcome of two sessions (opposition walkout, passage of bill, adjournment etc) with 100 percent accuracy. He was also able to tell us which MP will walkout or create a din in the house during sessions. This bookie told Humor Unplugged that he had over 150 MPs on his roll and could easily dictate the proceedings and base bets on the same.
“I had always had the suspicion that the proceedings of the house were rigged. It was not as if these MPs were ever interested in the welfare of the nation or its people. They were here to simply earn a few bucks quickly and then wither away,” said a citizen who didn’t want to be named.
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Coffee is on me. It actually is...need to change my shirt now