Arundathi Roy to replace Madhuri Gupta in Indian embassy in Islamabad
Mandarins from the external affairs ministry who have displayed a remarkable sense of understanding of our intelligence sensitivities in the most spooked embassy in the world have now gone a step further. The ministry has decided to depute anti-national amoeba Arundathi Roy to the Indian embassy in Islamabad as a replacement to Mata Hari Madhuri Gupta.
The deployment is seen as an invitation to similar IQ challenged sleuths in Pakistan’s intelligence apparatus to continue their espionage activities targeted at the Indian embassy in Islamabad. “It was in 2007 that we had realized that Pakistan had not managed to gain access to confidential information residing in our embassy there. That was when we decided to send a vulnerable figure there. It had to be a person who could easily compromise national secrets and handover confidential information easily. Madhuri Gupta did all that and more. Now Arundathi Roy will continue in her illustrious footsteps,” says a senior external affairs babu unapologetically with a sheepish grin.
Humor Unplugged has learnt that Arundathi Roy has been already been handed over confidential papers from the recently concluded Thimphu summit of SAARC leaders for her to use bait to lure Pakistani sleuths. Arundathi, who is almost a Pakistani when it comes to her hatred for India, has not only accepted the offer but also enrolled herself for a crash course in Urdu at JNU in Delhi. She will be moving to Islamabad by the end of May 2010 and RAW has been instructed to “ignore” her, once she starts her work in Islamabad to facilitate easy movement of sensitive information to Pakistani intelligence agencies. "She (Roy) had the exact profile we were looking for - someone single, loony and most importantly someone who hates India like anything. She will be the new Pakistani mole in the embassy," the proud babu said.
In Thimphu, Pak PM Geelani had requested his Indian counterpart to depute a replacement for Madhuri Gupta soon as Pakistan was 'missing her services'. Stressing the importance of Madhuri, the Pak PM said "Without a mole like Madhuri, our intelligence sleuths will have as much information on India as a diplomat in the Sudanese embassy in New Delhi".
Meanwhile, sources have told India’s number one blog Humor Plugged that a confidential IQ, general ability and decision making test conducted on several senior officials of external affairs ministry in late 2008 had produced startling results. Of over 40 officials scanned, 36 were not able to distinguish a spherical object from a rectangular one. 16 thought that India was a monarchy, 29 were of the opinion that rains were caused by several folks in heaven loosing bladder control simultaneously.23 were only able to recollect 15 English alphabets while 19 highly intelligent external affairs officials were only able to count till 29. That’s the kind of people who are part of our external affairs ministry. It therefore comes as no surprise that the entire nation had to feel ashamed and disgusted over their criminal negligence in the Madhuri Gupta spy saga.
The deployment is seen as an invitation to similar IQ challenged sleuths in Pakistan’s intelligence apparatus to continue their espionage activities targeted at the Indian embassy in Islamabad. “It was in 2007 that we had realized that Pakistan had not managed to gain access to confidential information residing in our embassy there. That was when we decided to send a vulnerable figure there. It had to be a person who could easily compromise national secrets and handover confidential information easily. Madhuri Gupta did all that and more. Now Arundathi Roy will continue in her illustrious footsteps,” says a senior external affairs babu unapologetically with a sheepish grin.
Humor Unplugged has learnt that Arundathi Roy has been already been handed over confidential papers from the recently concluded Thimphu summit of SAARC leaders for her to use bait to lure Pakistani sleuths. Arundathi, who is almost a Pakistani when it comes to her hatred for India, has not only accepted the offer but also enrolled herself for a crash course in Urdu at JNU in Delhi. She will be moving to Islamabad by the end of May 2010 and RAW has been instructed to “ignore” her, once she starts her work in Islamabad to facilitate easy movement of sensitive information to Pakistani intelligence agencies. "She (Roy) had the exact profile we were looking for - someone single, loony and most importantly someone who hates India like anything. She will be the new Pakistani mole in the embassy," the proud babu said.
In Thimphu, Pak PM Geelani had requested his Indian counterpart to depute a replacement for Madhuri Gupta soon as Pakistan was 'missing her services'. Stressing the importance of Madhuri, the Pak PM said "Without a mole like Madhuri, our intelligence sleuths will have as much information on India as a diplomat in the Sudanese embassy in New Delhi".
Meanwhile, sources have told India’s number one blog Humor Plugged that a confidential IQ, general ability and decision making test conducted on several senior officials of external affairs ministry in late 2008 had produced startling results. Of over 40 officials scanned, 36 were not able to distinguish a spherical object from a rectangular one. 16 thought that India was a monarchy, 29 were of the opinion that rains were caused by several folks in heaven loosing bladder control simultaneously.23 were only able to recollect 15 English alphabets while 19 highly intelligent external affairs officials were only able to count till 29. That’s the kind of people who are part of our external affairs ministry. It therefore comes as no surprise that the entire nation had to feel ashamed and disgusted over their criminal negligence in the Madhuri Gupta spy saga.
"Bring it on" says Arundathi Roy, excited by the prospect of indulging in more anti-national activity at the Indian embassy in Islamabad
"Say it ain't so": India's foreign minister S M Krishna reacts to the news of the arrest of Pakistani spy Madhuri Gupta
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Coffee is on me. It actually is...need to change my shirt now