India ready with a ‘strong response’ on Madhuri Gupta

The Indian government has prepared what it calls a strong response to Pakistan on the Madhuri Gutpa espionage saga. Our moles in the external affairs ministry have told India’s favorite blog Humor Unplugged that the government is quite concerned about the whole incident and that its response is ready and would be handed over to Pakistan over the next two days.

And what exactly is this strong response? Humor Unplugged has learnt that it is nothing other than another 17000 page dossier compiled by the Dossier Cell in the external affairs ministry in a record time of just two days. When told that the government had done nothing but compiled dossiers over the last two years, an angry S M Krishna flipped his wig (it fell on the ground with a thud). “Do you think that these dossiers amount to nothing? Do you feel these are not even worth the paper they are printed on? Are you implying that we are just supporting the recycling industry in Pakistan? Well you may be right. But then we have to do something don’t we. This time we will not speak to Pakistan for atleast two years and force them to act, unlike last time,” Krishna asked with a grin on his face. 

Stating that this dossier was different from others, our mole in the external affairs ministry said “this one is really strong. It gets to the point straight away unlike the 26-11 dossier that had an intro and a few lines on the Incredible India campaign, this one has dope right from page one. We have also used strong language in the report. In fact we have used some unprintable language in a few places to describe Madhuri Gupta’s handlers and members of Pakistani intelligence bureau. In fact Madhuri Gupta herself has not been spared and some colorful words are used to describe her”. 

Pakistan has meanwhile claimed that it has already received a copy of the dossier via its moles in New Delhi and is preparing a official response to be delivered to India within 2 hours of the dossier landing in Islamabad. 

Meanwhile our very own mole man has come out strongly against the whole spy scandal. “This is what I was talking about in my last to last novel. I have been screaming my lungs out saying that there is a mole in our PMO,” Jaswant Singh said. When reminded that the mole was in Indian embassy in Islamabad, he said “I know…there are moles everywhere, including our embassies, ministries, intelligence agencies, IPL council etc. In fact I found one hiding inside a chair in my living room the other day. That guy was a GJM mole who was spying on my activities in Darjeeling. I will expose the mole in my next book,” Jaswant said.


The dossier on Madhuri Gupta sitting on a babu's desk at the external affairs ministry in New Delhi

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Coffee is on me. It actually is...need to change my shirt now