Shocking interview with Jaswant Singh
Jaswant Singh, the mole man is back…the guy who is ready to stoop to any level to sell his book, has dropped a new bomb. Our correspondent who met and questioned the man on not one but two occasions is now back to interview the dude whos stirred up a storm..yet again. This time he reveals shocking details on the Kandahar incident.
RS: The last time we met, you were caught serving opium to guests at some event at your house. Before that you were chasing imaginary moles in the PMO and now here you are with Jinnah…
JS: mumble…mumble..mumble…
RS: Sorry, forgot to put on my Jaswant transcriber…one minute. Yes, please continue.
JS: As I was saying, I am a guy with vivid imagination. I like to conjure up scenarios that never existed and mint money out of it. I mean at a broader level, I could have blogged about all this like that unknown guy from Bangalore. But then, I also need to make some moolah out of it and I don’t mind exploiting any one from moles to gophers to Jinnah- they are all the same for me. I like to move on you see…
RS: Ok, so whats with the suddenly discovered love for Jinnah?
JS: Have you put on a mask on your ear also? I have already answered that question. By the way, what would you like to have coke or desi dope? I am sorry I forgot to ask.
RS: Thanks, but no thanks. I am not into drugs.
JS: That’s why you don’t get ideas…you can never write a book, stir up a controversy or even be fired from a party. Once a while you should..
RS: Lets change the topic. What happened to the mole who was supposed to be in the PMO in the early 90s?
JS: Its not a single mole. Now they found that it was an entire family. The single mole has married and settled down now.
RS: You mean that..?
JS: Yes, I have been vindicated. They dug the lawns of the PMO recently and discovered an entire family of Scapanus townsendii (townsend mole) residing there. The family was relocated to Lucknow under the watchful eye of our very own animal lover Menaka Gandhi.
RS: Hey, you said there was a ‘human’ mole who was responsible for leaks in the PMO..
JS: I never said the mole was human or whatever. Here, take a copy of the book…read the whole thing and tell me where is it mentioned that the mole was human? Besides the second part about the leaks is also true as this mole had dug a hole in one the underground pipes and the water used to leak like crazy.
RS: Coming back to Jinnah, how can you praise such a divisive minded politician whose hands are tainted with the blood of millions of innocent refugees?
JS: How many of us Indians have made money by selling Jinnah? I will be the first one to do it. What drug have you taken before coming here? You still haven’t understood my response to the first question asked by you.
RS: How could you go with the terrorists to Kandahar? Was this some kind of a home delivery? The plane was on our tarmac for 45 minutes and you couldn’t even deflate the tyres and make the plane immobile.
JS: Don’t tell me about the operational details as I was not the home minister when that happened. Advani was the guy responsible. He wanted to prove to everyone that he was a real iron man and wanted to single handedly storm the plane, fight the highjackers and free the hostages. He had even asked Manish Malhotra to design a costume for him complete with an external langot ala Superman. By the time the costume arrived, the plane had left and the BJP did not want Advani to go there as they felt he would come back praising Osama. So Advani asked me to go Afghanistan wearing the costume and a mask to hide my identity and fight the terrorists. But when I was slipping into the costume, I found that the size was wrong and I had to call the tailor (based in Chennai) to do the necessary alterations. But by the time he could come, we had to go and maintain the schedule because we didn’t want the terrorists to think that we were a bunch of in disciplined guys..
RS: What about the way in which you were fired?
JS: That was horrible. I was watching Winnie the poop when the call came and Rajnathji asked me to shut down the TV and listen to him. That was blasphemous…imagine a dedicated party worker for over 3 decades not being allowed to watch his favorite TV show and then he told me that I was now free to write as many books as I wanted. I want to write a book on the benefits of Swine flu now.
RS: The last time we met, you were caught serving opium to guests at some event at your house. Before that you were chasing imaginary moles in the PMO and now here you are with Jinnah…
JS: mumble…mumble..mumble…
RS: Sorry, forgot to put on my Jaswant transcriber…one minute. Yes, please continue.
JS: As I was saying, I am a guy with vivid imagination. I like to conjure up scenarios that never existed and mint money out of it. I mean at a broader level, I could have blogged about all this like that unknown guy from Bangalore. But then, I also need to make some moolah out of it and I don’t mind exploiting any one from moles to gophers to Jinnah- they are all the same for me. I like to move on you see…
RS: Ok, so whats with the suddenly discovered love for Jinnah?
JS: Have you put on a mask on your ear also? I have already answered that question. By the way, what would you like to have coke or desi dope? I am sorry I forgot to ask.
RS: Thanks, but no thanks. I am not into drugs.
JS: That’s why you don’t get ideas…you can never write a book, stir up a controversy or even be fired from a party. Once a while you should..
RS: Lets change the topic. What happened to the mole who was supposed to be in the PMO in the early 90s?
JS: Its not a single mole. Now they found that it was an entire family. The single mole has married and settled down now.
RS: You mean that..?
JS: Yes, I have been vindicated. They dug the lawns of the PMO recently and discovered an entire family of Scapanus townsendii (townsend mole) residing there. The family was relocated to Lucknow under the watchful eye of our very own animal lover Menaka Gandhi.
RS: Hey, you said there was a ‘human’ mole who was responsible for leaks in the PMO..
JS: I never said the mole was human or whatever. Here, take a copy of the book…read the whole thing and tell me where is it mentioned that the mole was human? Besides the second part about the leaks is also true as this mole had dug a hole in one the underground pipes and the water used to leak like crazy.
RS: Coming back to Jinnah, how can you praise such a divisive minded politician whose hands are tainted with the blood of millions of innocent refugees?
JS: How many of us Indians have made money by selling Jinnah? I will be the first one to do it. What drug have you taken before coming here? You still haven’t understood my response to the first question asked by you.
RS: How could you go with the terrorists to Kandahar? Was this some kind of a home delivery? The plane was on our tarmac for 45 minutes and you couldn’t even deflate the tyres and make the plane immobile.
JS: Don’t tell me about the operational details as I was not the home minister when that happened. Advani was the guy responsible. He wanted to prove to everyone that he was a real iron man and wanted to single handedly storm the plane, fight the highjackers and free the hostages. He had even asked Manish Malhotra to design a costume for him complete with an external langot ala Superman. By the time the costume arrived, the plane had left and the BJP did not want Advani to go there as they felt he would come back praising Osama. So Advani asked me to go Afghanistan wearing the costume and a mask to hide my identity and fight the terrorists. But when I was slipping into the costume, I found that the size was wrong and I had to call the tailor (based in Chennai) to do the necessary alterations. But by the time he could come, we had to go and maintain the schedule because we didn’t want the terrorists to think that we were a bunch of in disciplined guys..
RS: What about the way in which you were fired?
JS: That was horrible. I was watching Winnie the poop when the call came and Rajnathji asked me to shut down the TV and listen to him. That was blasphemous…imagine a dedicated party worker for over 3 decades not being allowed to watch his favorite TV show and then he told me that I was now free to write as many books as I wanted. I want to write a book on the benefits of Swine flu now.
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Coffee is on me. It actually is...need to change my shirt now