Jailed squirrel’s condition worsens, emergency cabinet meeting convened

The lone squirrel who attacked an internet landing cable in Mumbai a few days back and was subsequently arrested has been fasting for the last 2 days and his health has started deteriorating.

Kiki on fast

The squirrel identified only by his first name Kiki has refused to eat food or drink water till the government sets him free. Sources close to Kiki said that the squirrel has already tendered an unconditional apology and was willing to undertake 23 hours of community service as penance and there was no need to harass the tiny soul anymore. The Maharashtra assembly has already passed a unanimous resolution seeking clemency for the squirrely delinquent.

At the time of going to press, union finance minister Pranab Mukherjee and a few senior cabinet leaders were having a discussion on the case. Cabinet sources say that the government might pass a favourable verdict and Kiki might be free by 10 am tomorrow. Doctors attending to Kiki say that his BP had fallen and the squirrel had gone weak.

Kiki immediately after his arrest

Animal rights activist Fakenaka Gandhi launched a blistering attack on the government over the issue. “If it were a politician in Kiki’s place he would have been free by now and all this government has done so far is to ignore the issue. I haven’t even heard professional bull$*itters Digvijay and Manish speak on Kiki so far,” she said.

Recent US embassy cables accessed by Humor Unplugged shows that the US government has been tracking the story since it was published by your favourite blog a few days back.