Jamat-ul-dawa announces hike for onsite terrorists

It has been known for a while that Pakistani terrorists in India were a demotivated lot and some of them had even refused to carry out their routine duties due to salary and increment issues. Worried by this trend, the umbrella body of Pakistani terrorists – the Jamat-ul-Dawa (JuD) has finally decided to act to soothe tempers by giving an over the board hike to its terrorists deployed onsite in India. The decision came at the recently concluded “Anti India” meet organized in Pakistan Occupied Kashmir by ISI. 

It may be remembered that JuD’s onsite terrorists have been complaining about the soaring prices of essential food commodities for a while now. Some of them had stopped working and threatened to return to Pakistan without finishing their assignments, if a hike was not given. “I couldn’t afford vegetables and common food items and was thriving on instant noodles. I had written to my bosses in Pakistan asking for a hike in pay and increase in the variable component. Though my workload has increased, I haven’t received a hike in almost two years and this is definitely not good news,” a terrorist operating in India said.

Another dreaded terrorist said that JuD has not released the letter outlining their pay hike inspite of finishing the due appraisal process back in March 09. They have constantly been giving lame excuses like recession, dipping margins and what not to delay the whole process.   “Some of my friends have died without a hike and how long could this have continued? I am glad that the ISI and JuD have realized that it is best to give employees their due without any drama…after all these guys exist because we do their dirty work,” the terrorist said. “No ISI management guy or JuD boss will come down to India to die,” he added explaining his previous statement. 

All Pakistani terrorists based in India will get a 20-25 percent hike and a 30 percent inflation-adjusted bonus within the next month and the hikes will be effective from April 2009. “We are not like some companies who play around with the salaries of employees and we believe in sharing their burden. The prices have gone up substantially since we deployed our terrorists in India and we don’t want our men to be affected by this in anyway,” a JuD spokesperson told this blogger’s source in Muzzafarabad.

Comments

Busybee said…
ah.. the much awited dearness allowance..

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