PM Modi wants to rescue astronaut Sunita Williams

Just hours after ISRO chief S Somnath spoke about ISRO taking PM Modi to space on Gaganyaan, the PMO got active and put together a speech the PM will deliver while he is up there in space. As per sources, the speech will have all his usual elements including blame game, mocking opposition and spinning reams of yarn and fake tales. The PM also expressed an interest in rescuing 'stranded' astronaut Sunita Williams from the International Space Station.

900000 crore package on the anvil

"Modi ji will become the first leader to play the blame game in space. He will also announce a INR 900000 Cr. package for ISRO in his speech delivered from space. That money will never come but it will give Modi friendly media enough material to praise him to Tropopause. Further Modi ji will also blame Nehru for no Indian PMs traveling to space in the last 70 years," a source in the PMO told India's leading satire site Humor Unplugged.

PM Modi ji is very excited about the chance to issue more jhoomlas and attack opponents in space. He has already asked his team of 8740 speech writers to come up with unique speeches with low quality content in continuation of similar speeches he made during the election campaign season just a month ago. 

"Modi ji is also planning to conduct an interview with pliant media while he is still floating around in space. The chosen lot will include sycophants such as Arnab "drug do" Goswami, Smita 'bhakt' Prakash and few more who will grill him with tough questions on his culinary preferences, his favorite dresses and more. If you thought Modi ji had used language unbecoming of a PM a few months ago, wait till he ascends to space. He will indulge in language unbecoming of an astronaut. Indians have no idea what is waiting for them," the PMO source said.           

"Modi ji has also instructed ISRO to plan the launch on a cloudless day as on a cloudy day, the rocket could lose its way due to lighting  issues and due to the weight of the cloud, the rocket will consume more fuel. Modi ji feels lack of clouds will be beneficial for the launch," the PMO source added.  

Modi ji wants to rescue Sunita Williams 

Another source told Humor Unplugged over tea that Modi ji has asked ISRO to hurry up with the tests and launch Gaganyaan quickly so that he can walk over to the ISS and rescue astronaut Sunita Williams. When told she is not stranded, Modi ji is said to asked ISRO to go with tests at usual pace. 

If everything goes well, Modi ji will be India's first jhoomlanaut. Humor Unplugged has also learned that Anant Ambani and Radhika Merchant’s are planning to have their 45th pre-wedding ceremony in space. The couple have already had so many wedding ceremonies that guests are confused about what present to carry. Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg had to attend a counseling session as he had a panic attack soon after receiving a call from Mukesh Ambani inviting him for the 45th time for the Anant-Radhika wedding. 

 

Gaganyaan vehicle that will ferry Modi ji 

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