Canada finally acts on terror; proposes major legislative changes

Canadian PM and semi human protozoan with the IQ of a stalagmite Justin Trudeau has announced that Canada will soon bring about many legislative changes to deal with the growing menace of terrorism emerging from that country's soil.

"Yesterday during my Saturday brunch, I almost choked on a Pokémon toy that was hidden in the bowl of Pikachu chocolate bons. It took me a while to realize that this was a terror attack on Canada and I need to act soon," the manchild PM said in a press note.

In addition to nurturing over 2000 global terror groups running on its soil, Canada also nurtures almost 5000 terrorists without any official affiliation. Further, insecure China runs 39 police stations across the country and has called Canada the "easiest country to influence and occupy". 

Recently however, Canada has been put under pressure by the Indian government to act on terorists operating freely on its soil. But Canada has refused to give in offering instead  a longer rope to terrorists to play with. 

But after Khalistani terrorist and man with the brains of a block of landfil leechate Gurpatwant Singh Pannun made a threat to Blow-up an Air India flight on 19th November, things changed quickly or so we are given to believe as per sources. Canada tabled a resolution in its parliament Al Shura to brings about a massive change in the way it deals with terrorism originating from its soil. 

The highlights of the new resolution are as follows:

* All terror groups will now have to register themselves with the Royal Terror Bureau. Operating a terrorist organization in Canada without written permission from the government will now be illegal and any group or individual caught doing so will be punished by being made to watch Canadian PMs speeches and dance.

* Each group will be allowed to make one major threat a month against other nations. Any further threats should be approved by the bureau. No threats to Canada will be allowed.

* Visa quota for terrorists to come and settle in Cananda to be reduced to 1000 individuals a month.

* All terrorists will have to sign up for duty with the Canadian Armed forces. They also have to agree to be deployed across the world in missions involving dancing and singing during exchange of gunfire, a speciality of Canadian forces.

" A separate region within Canada will be allocated to terrorists that wish to train on Canada's soil. Separate visas will be issued to such individuals. 

* All weapons made in Canada to be used against sovereign countries should be shipped out of Canada within a period of no more than 46 days or within 26 days of the issuance of a threat by the terror org. Delays will lead to a penalty

* Terrorists will no longer be invited to address Al Shura instead they will only be able to deliver speeches via video conference 

* Terror groups will be allowed to sponsor major sporting events in Canada

A bill attached with this resolution will be introduced in Al Shura soon. Justin Trudeau was busy with his lego set and was therefore unavailable for further comments. 

Canada's Banff National Park will be open to all terror groups to open their offices here as per a foot note in the resolution.

Khalistani terrorist Gurpatwant Singh Pannun in his original avatar as a pizza delivery guy.