Companies that solicit applications via LinkedIn and reply with a cheap template to be taxed heavily

After the Equalization Tax, multinational companies operating in India will now have to cough up a new tax.

Finance Minister Nirmala Sitharaman had a nasty fight with an online retail platform that delivered the wrong brand of heat and eat onion dosha batter yesterday. The result, she has decided to impose a new tax on companies that enthusiastically solicit applications on the social media platform LinkedIn but reply to all applications including those applicants who have taken pains to put a custom application together.

The new tax will apply to companies that reject candidates using a much-abused reply possibly composed by a semi-literate proto-human entity with a reptilian lineage. The reply template was created during the early cretaceous and is still being used by listless companies that do not have the will or skill to engage applicants. 

Here is a sample of one of these replies:

“Dear applicant, thanks for applying to ______________. While our ATS was impressed and downright swept off it’s feet by your application, we have decided to move on with another set of dummies. As we grow, we do need to feed our obese corporate ego with tons of applications so feel free to keep on applying till you get the message.

Cheers,

Our new ATS.      

“Such primitive companies need to be taxed. The tax will be applied to every single application rejected by the company. Lazy companies will now have a reason to reply to every in-bound custom application rejected by it,” Sitharaman said.

A spokesperson for LinkedIn said “LinkedIn has been built to give employees and companies who have lot of time on their hands to waste it creating junk content and in sharing unwanted political opinions and useless points of view. We never knew that companies were using LinkedIn to solicit responses for job postings. We will get to the bottom of this by next year.”

 

Getting ready to apply for a job