Coronavirus is China’s greatest contribution yet to mankind: Xi Jinping

Chinese Coronavirus kingpin Xi Jinping today hailed Coronavirus as China’s greatest contribution yet. At a meeting of commie politburo potheads, Jinping congratulated all Chinese citizens and the armed forces for their contribution in creating a disruption that “helped China take revenge on the world and strongly impose its imprint and belligerence”. The occasion was an event organized to celebrate the completion of 10 months since China detected the first Covid-19 case in Wuhan. It spent the remaining months suppressing the information and allowing patients to travel abroad so that the virus could be transmitted to other countries. It also made WHO underplay the seriousness of the pandemic while it deployed its armed forces to contain Covid-19 within its borders. 

The virus was spread by the country as part of China's Prick and Mortar project also known as the One Road One Bully project. 

“It is with great pride that I, Xi Jinping announce that our attempts to let the world know of China’s power have finally succeeded. It is due to the hard work of generations of my fellow insecure and scared Chinese leaders that we can today rise with pride and say with honor that this huge wave of global disruption caused by the Coronavirus is all our doing. We are behind it and it is we who have made this possible. Today everyone knows about China and our power and those who don’t, will do so soon,” said Jinping before collapsing on the podium laughing hysterically. 

At the event, bat-eating patient zero of Covid-19 Li Pingping was felicitated for his contribution to the pandemic. “Without this man’s wonderful eating habits, there would have been no virus spread and we are grateful to him for helping us torture people everywhere and plunge global markets into gloom. We are therefore honoring him with additional rations, one free gulag tour for a day, and a street in Xinxiang will be named after him,” Jinping said.  

Pakistani PM Imran Khan attended the event and served tea, bottled water and biscuits to the gathering. Pakistani army chief Mullah Gomar cleaned the premises after the event and used his army uniform to clean spoilt dishes and sink. While cleaning one of the plates, one of his Pakistani army insignias fell into the drain and flowed away. Imran had a hearty laugh when he saw that. Both Imran and Gomar were paid some money for their work before they were taken away. 

"Our friendship with China is as deep as the drainage basin outside this building and as wide as the culvert below that railway track you see over there (pointing outside the window). We are proud to be in the same league as North Korea and this is exactly why our founding father M A Jin-ah created our country," said Imran Khan before being whisked away in a pony cart.

While covering the event, Chinese tabloid complied by certified opium addicts, Global Times, claimed that aliens from some alien planet visited the event and congratulated Xi Jinping.  

                                         

A bat-shaped cake was cut on the occasion 

by Xi Jinping.