Kolkata wi-fi rollout problems sorted out: O Frian

Just hours after Times of India came out with an article highlighting concerns associated with the impending Wi-Fi rollout in Kolkata, The state government came out with a comprehensive plan of action to prevent bandwidth clogging.

The plan was outlined in an informal meet the press organised by Trinamool Congress spokesperson and Ra.One enthusiast Dereck O Frian today morning. "We are aware of media reports that have overplayed the clogging concerns associated with a Wi-fi roll out in Kolkata. I am here to clarify that such concerns are unfounded and based on a foundation that is as strong as the one Jinnah used to create Pakistan," O Frian said. 

Humor Unplugged got hold of the document he was waving and got to know the tactics lined up by Mamata government to resolve the issue. 

Here are some of the highlights of the plan

• People found downloading more than 2 MB of data will be lathi charged and chased away
• Those who download over 10 MB will be categorized as maoists and will disappear without a trace
• Those using the free Wifi to criticize the state government or its minions will be forcefully deposited in a psychiatric facility 
• Those downloading movies will be forced to work in the publicity wing of the state government 
• Those found downloading data for more than an hour will be forced to attend CM's rallies. They will also have to compose and sing a poem dedicated to the state CM
•  Heads of those sharing selfies using state Wifi will be shaved 

O Frian slithered away after sharing these points and we were not able to question him.