Nawaz Sharif is farther away from earth than India’s Mars spacecraft: Pakistan Army

In a moment of unrestrained candor, Pakistan today admitted that its premier and most citizens were not in touch with reality when it came to matters concerning India. The admission was made by none other than Pakistan’s new army chief General Raheel Sharif at an army ceremony in GHQ in Rawalpindi on Tuesday.

“Mian Sharief (Nawaz Sharif) claims that Pakistan army will give a disproportionate response to any Indian misadventure. Now, what does he mean? Has he seen the size of the Indian Army? Anything we do will obviously be disproportionate. Our standard response when it comes to war with India has always been hit and run as far as you can from the battlefield and I don’t see that changing in my lifetime or yours,” General Sharif said.

The undated pic showing Nawaz Sharief on Mars released
by Pakistan Army

“When it comes to India and her capabilities, we cannot even sustain a stone-age conflict. Sharif and most of my fellow citizens talk as though we can engage in a conflict of any nature and size with India. For such weed smokers, I only have one thing to say – you guys are farther away from earth than India’s Mars orbiter. So come back to earth before you are deposited in a psychiatric facility. I will not entertain any talk about a conflict of any nature with India,” Sharif added.

Pakistan Army also released a pic showing Nawaz Sharif on what it claimed to be Mars. The image was released towards the end of the event. No explanatory note was released along with the picture. Sources in Pakistan army told Humor Unplugged that the new army chief was very angry with Pakistan PM for unnecessarily needling India. "These guys needle Indians and we pay the price. When is the last time you saw a upper middle class ipad owner fight a war? These things need to change," the source said.