For Indian carriers, passengers are cash cows

Good bye service! Hello more fares

With Indian government allowing airlines to charge extra for carrying check-in baggage and meals even in full-service carriers, a whole new set of charges will emerge. Airlines will now be able to milk customers at every step of their journey.

So what will happen in the future? What new charges will emerge and why would you need to book your ticket on EMIs? Humor Unplugged’s aviation expert Karmappa Jholl explores the Indian aviation scene and identifies new charges that carriers here will impose in the foreseeable future:

• Attention charge: so that air hostesses will look at you atleast once. If you want them to smile or acknowledge your existence, you will have to pay extra. If you want them to come to your seat, each time you press the button to call them, your bank account will be debited. 
• Experience pilot charge: If you want your plane to be piloted by an experience pilot, you will have to pay extra.
• Emergency evacuation demo charges: if you want to view the demo, you will have to pay extra 
• Crash attention charges: to be paid by those passengers who wish to be rescued in case a crash happens and they are still alive. In case you haven’t paid it before boarding the flight and your plane crashes or skids of the runway and you are injured, the cabin crew can ignore you.
• Seating charges: if you haven’t paid these, you will have to fly standing…
• Scenery charges: suppose your flight is passing through a zone which offers a great view, cabin crew will close all windows and ask passengers to pay up, if they want to view the scene
• Turbulence management fee: suppose your flight passes through turbulence, you will be asked to pay more by the airline for managing your flight well through turbulence.
• Smartphone showoff charges: If you have a high end smartphone and are using it in-flight, the flight attendants will charge you a fee for trying to impress your neighbor
• Oxygen use charges: Suppose the cabin oxygen level drops, the oxygen mask will drop only after you pay the oxygen usage charge    
• Restroom usage fee 
• On-time landing fee