Government orders CBI inquiry into Kareena’s missing cheeks

Hours after NDTV published an article highlighting actor Kareena Kapoor’s missing cheeks, the government swung into action and ordered the CBI to conduct a thorough investigation into the episode.  

Minister of State for Home Affairs — Gurudas Kamat, while addressing a media briefing in Kolkata said the situation was ‘tense but under control’. He said that the government has taken cognisance of Kareena’s missing cheeks and was actively working to determine where the cheeks were at this point of time and to restore them to the actor. He also said that the case has already been handed over to the CBI.

The NDTV article 

Sources in the government told Humor Unplugged that the Indian government is viewing the episode as a golden opportunity to shrug off allegations from opposition that it was paralysed and not in a position to take bold measures on issues concerning national interest. “Remember what I told you the other day when you turned up at my office, uninvited? The UPA is not paralysed. It has just had a seizure that’s all. It’s not even a heart attack. And we are going to come out of it all Bofors blazing and this (Kareena’s cheeks) is going to be one of our first bold actions,” a congress leader said.

Meanwhile India’s conspiracy detector Subramaniam Swamy claimed there was more to the cheeky incident than met the eye. He claimed that he had documents to prove that there was an elaborate conspiracy hatched by some scam tainted ministers and the whole thing had the blessings of the Prime Ministers Office.

Meanwhile, Team Anna attacked the government saying that it was unable to 'even protect the private property of its own citizens'. "How safe is our hard earned money that we are doling over as taxes to this government, if someone steals the cheeks of a famous actor right under the noses of the very people who are supposed to protect her," Team Anna member Arvind Kejriwal said before being flung out of another Kingfisher Airlines flight.