Congress woos angry Pawar with a special No 2 chair

Sources in the Congress have told Humor Unplugged that the PM had asked top strategy makers in the party to aggressively woo estranged ally Sharad Pawar. The diktat was issued on Wednesday evening and party managers got into the act immediately. 

Party’s main motor mouth Diggi got in touch with a local carpenter and got him to prepare the frame for a nice and comfy chair next morning. He then got his friends in Slovenia to send him special cushions and got a Kenyan chair designer to fly in to specially design the exterior of what he called the UPA-II Number Two chair. The whole project was wrapped up in under three days and the chair is now undergoing weight and slap trials in Diggi’s garage. It will be used in all UPA meetings going forward to seat Sharad Pawar.

"The outer jacket of this chair is made from Pawarji's old pajamas. He was kind enough to hand them over to us and we have used pieces from them at various places in the chair. This will make the chair more homely and he will be more comfortable remembering the good old days and the money he had received wearing those pajamas," Diggi said.

Nationalist Congress Party’s number two, Dawood’s front man in India and Naresh Goyal’s poodle Praful

The UPA Number -II chair

Patel AKA Awful Patel was impressed by the move. “Now this is what my dotted line manager needs. In all NCP meetings I have my special chair placed right next to Pawarji and I only get up from it when I have to visit the restroom or Nareshji calls me. So why shouldn’t he (Pawar) get the same treatment within UPA? Besides he is so senior that many senior Congress leaders today, were still in their diapers when Pawarji was the CM of Maharashtra. So he deserves a good and cushy chair. The other day when I and he went to a marriage, the groom got up and offered his chair to Pawarji and the bride followed suit and offered her chair to me. So everyone thought Pawarji was marrying me (blushes)..aint that sweet and powerful,” Patel said.

Patel also claimed that his party deserves the credit for killing the civil aviation industry in India and that alone should qualify his dotted line manager to have a special chair in UPA meetings.