Taran Adarsh to join Moody’s Europe

Bollywood film critic Taran Adarsh is all set to join the European division of Moody's Investors Service, the bond credit rating business of Moody's Corporation. An announcement to this effect will made by Moody’s on Monday at 11:00 hours, company sources told Humor Unplugged. 

Moody’s has been on the lookout for baseless speculators with a rich background in cooking up false ratings (and justification) for a range of products. “Mr Adarsh is among a handful of people we have identified for furthering our goal of excessive indulgence in technically unsound and unanalytical speculation of the type that we have been known for. He will be heading a team of fake astrologers and gossip mongers who are responsible for grading the banking system constituents in 8 European countries,” the source said.

“These days the only people who take Moody’s and Standard & Poor’s seriously are the same people who go and watch movies based on the advice people like Adarsh give. I am not sure how many of you remember Moody’s is one of the credit-ratings agencies that ranked subprime-mortgage bonds AAA before they exploded into the financial crisis few years back. So, if you ask me, a weatherman down the street would give a better investment advice than these clowns,” a senior investment banker said on condition of anonymity.

Taran Adarsh could not be reached for comment. But sources say that his appointment is just the beginning. Standard & Poor’s has been eying Times of India’s move rating wing since quite a while and is expected to absorb the whole team in a few months as people have already started getting offer letters.