Indian Bundh Morcha (IBM) to give away awards to bundh goons

The Indian Bundh Morcha (IBM), an umbrella body of goons and vagabonds waiting to create trouble, has decided to give away a host of awards to anti-social criminals who ensured the success of the Bundh called last Thursday by opposition parties. The awards will be given away next week and efforts or on to get politicians from across parties to partake in the festivities.

The various categories for which the awards would be given include:

Social workers

• Best enforcement
• Best destruction of public property 
• Best nuisance value created 
• Best violence and breach of peace
• Best shutdown 
• Best rail roko
• Best stone pelting incident (bus)
• Best stone pelting incident (commercial establishment)

IBM chairman and Chief Enforcement Officer Chavvani Lal said “This has been byfar the most successful bundh we have had in years. I used to get nostalgic every time I saw videos of successful bundhs from the 80s. Those days a bundh was a bundh. Today, people don’t care. They behave as if we are doing all this to get some political mileage. The truth is that we are social workers and the reason behind a bundh is to help refresh the economy once in a while. It is also a time for the socially underprivileged goons to prove their worth and contribute to nation building. You think we burn busses at random. No sir, we don’t. We pick and choose only the old and dilapidated ones. So you gotta give us some respect and these awards are a step in that direction”.

He also claimed that the average per capita carbon emission in the country registers a sharp drop during a bundh and that helps the environment.