Unusual movement of lady journo gets Arnab Goswami thrashed – well almost

Argumentative motormouth and Newshour anchor Arnab’s Goswami nearly missed being thrashed into recyclable protoplasmic waste when his wife came to know of an unauthorised movement of a lady scribe near their house recently.

The chain of events started today morning when Arnab’s wife Pipi Goswami got a call from her intelligence source (her nosy neighbour) about an unauthorised movement of a lady journalist near her house. The neighbour, Papaya Devi, a lookout, was part of a protocol established by Pipi after a similar incident occurred few years back. She called up Pipi and told her that she had seen a lady journo move around in her lawn at 10 pm the night before. Papaya claimed that she was spooked by the lady who according to her was a ‘sizeable unit’ heading suspiciously towards Pipi’s blessed home.

Spooked? A rather shaken Arnab after
the incident

The movement was indeed odd and a cause for curiosity and some concern — because, over the decades, Arnab has been thulped so many times by Pipi for various reasons that his medical insurance premium is now almost equal to his yearly salary.  After Pipi was informed about the movement, she immediately, put in motion an old contingency plan to confront Arnab. Arnab’s mother-in-law who was on an Arnab sponsored vacation to Shillong was asked to cut short her trip, Arnab’s father-in-law put on 24-hour standby and Arnab's pet dog was allowed to use the lawn as a giant rest room once again.

Pipi then drove down to Times Now HQ and walked straight into Arnab’s cabin. Arnab’s close friend and music director Bhappida who had dropped in to pay a quick visit to his old friend was with him at that time. Bhappi stood up to greet his Bhabi who by now looked like a coaster waiting to hit any stationary object that stood in its path. The next thing people remember is seeing Bhappi roll down the fire exit of the Times Now building.

Arnab was then asked to explain and his explanation was weirder. He claimed that the movement was towards his friend Rajdeep Sardesai’s house and Arnab’s house was used as a decoy to make it seem as though she was coming to meet Arnab, instead of Rajdeep. Arnab broke down and claimed that in his long career he had never had any lady visiting his house to meet him. “Infact when you are not around, even the maid refuses to come, as she fears I will make her a panellist in my show or I will ask 36 questions without giving her a chance to reply,” Arnab said. Pipi according to sources has brought this explanation for now, pending an elaborate inquiry by her mother.

Pipi has also implemented certain corrective measures including confiscation of Arnab’s food coupons after this incident.