10 things about Zardari’s India visit you didn’t know

• He will leave from Karachi coast in a rubber dingy and on reaching Indian territorial waters highjack a small boat which will be used to reach Mumbai coast where he will dock. (This is the easiest way of entering India and Zardari’s entourage will be accompanied by Hafiz Saeed’s men who know the route well)

Zardari looking forward to
Kasab menu

• Zardari’s office has requested the Indian government to serve him the famed Kasab menu including Hyderabadi biriyani (Some pak terrorists are desperate to sneak into India to enjoy the royal treatment meted out to them here in Indian jails)

• Indian Express editor Shekhar Gupta has been notified about the impending visit – lest he publish another fake story proclaiming another coup, this time in Pakistan with Zardari seeking asylum in India.

• The Indian government has asked CAG to continue exposing various scams during the visit so that all that scam talk will make the Pak president feel right at home

• A Raja will be allowed to meet Zardari. Raja considers Zardari as his idol

• If Zardari raises the Siachen dispute, the Indian defence minister A K Anthony has been asked to leave the room and let former UP CM Mayawati continue the dialogue

• Weather, Vidya Balan and Delhi traffic will dominate the dialogue between the two sides

• Pak army will violate the LoC ceasefire by firing on Indian posts during Zardari’s visit. This is an age old tradition in Pakistan wherein any Pakistani who wants to sneak into India is given a cover fire.

• Zardari’s son has been offered a role by Mahesh Bhatt

• During his stay, Zardari will meet separatist fossil Syed Shah Geelani and give him a new
Bionic eye