Cracker explodes outside Arnab’s Goswami’s residence; security tightened

A cracker went off in a not so busy lane right outside Times Now Editor-in-Chief Arnab Goswami’s residence today morning. The cracker, strap on one, was timed to go off at 10:00 – the time at which Arnab usually goes vegetable shopping. However, due to some reason, the reasonably loud cracker exploded at 9:55 causing some stray dogs staying nearly a KM away to wake up and bark menacingly to voice their strong disapproval.

Conspiracy against Arnab??

According to a neighbor, Arnab who had just stepped out  with his huge vegetable carry bag ran back to his house and slammed the door shut. After a brief visit to the restroom, he sat down and composed his usual 36 questions to calm his nerves. “It is the Israelis and they are now retaliating against the Iranians and they are making me a pawn in their game. They want to knock me off and put the blame on the Iranians and it's a deep game,” Arnab tweeted.

Hearing the commotion, Arnab’s wife Pipi Goswami, who was in the shower, came out and saw Arnab hiding below a chair. “What’s up with you? I thought I had sent you to fetch vegetables and why are you hiding underneath that chair? Don’t tell me you forgot the food coupons again. I can’t even get into the shower in peace with you around. Now get going and bring those vegetables before I turn that chair into your tombstone. For all your laziness you should have been in parliament,” Pipi screamed.  

“But honey, they are targeting me it’s the Mossad and they are out to get me. I am their target. If I had started 5 minutes early, you would have had to activate that dormant profile of yours in that matrimony site. Don’t you get it? They want to knock me off as part of a larger global game,” Arnab said trying hard to reason with Pipi. But Pipi was in no mood to listen. She dragged Arnab and threw him out along with the carry bag. “Now don’t return till you get all the vegetables," she said.

Cops who arrived on the scene later confirmed that it was indeed a cracker thrown in a dust bin by some juvenile prankster. “There is no need for any investigation here. It’s an open and shut case of a prank played on Arnab” a cop said. Arnab, however ignored their contention and called for a CBI investigation and tightened security around his residence. But the cops were not amused. Later when Arnab threated to invite the local station SI to his show Newshour and ask 36 questions, the SI relented and posted a kachchadari cop outside Arnab’s residence.