Kim Jong’s Pokémon Long Johns go missing

North Koreans who were upset with the passing away of their ‘Dear Leader’ have one more reason to be upset.

According to reports trickling in from Pyongyang, North Korean dictator Kim Jong’s Pokémon long johns have gone missing. According to sources, the kacchas, symbolic of the dictator and his fashion-deficient rule, went missing at about 8 am North Korea time on Monday morning. A close aide of the late leader reported that he was unable to trace the garment after it was hung for drying by the late dictator (when he was alive) in the wee hours of Sunday morning after a flash flood hit the nation’s capital.

Images : On top right the announcement
on missing long johns on NKTV

“It is with great sorrow that the nation of North Korea announces the disappearance of our dear leader’s symbolic Pokémon long johns. On one hand we are dealing with the departure of our beloved leader and on the other we now have to come to terms with a missing piece of history that connects us with the noble one. The imperialistic zealots who are jealous of the progress made by North Korea have indulged in this despicable act to lower the morale of your great country and we will not tolerate such acts that insult our sovereignty, self respect and dignity,” an emergency broadcast from the North Korean state television said.

It may be remembered that the missing Pokémon long john was part of a discount set purchased together by then Pakistani dictator Musharraf, Libyan dictator Gadaffi and Kim Jong from a Hong Kong flea market. The seller had claimed that the long johns were magical and had the power to transform the destiny of the wearer. The trio had also purchased a Pokémon crayon set and bedsheets all of which were funded by the Chinese government.

Globally, stock markets reacted with concern over reports of missing long johns. "There is widespread concern over the implications of these on global security as North Korea could just fire a couple of scud variants on Japan or South Korea just to express their anger," an analyst said. North Koreans cops have meanwhile launched a nation-wide John hunt to prevent the garment from being smuggled out of the country.