Flash mobs and marriages will soon be common in Indian parliament

Humor Unplugged has learnt that the Indian parliament will soon allow citizens to do flash mob acts and get married on the floor of both houses.

The entire winter session of parliament has been a complete washout with MPs coming in swiping their cards, creating a din and going back home without the house transacting any business. It is almost like a more organized flash mob. So now the government has decided to consider a proposal by some academicians to allow non-political flash mobs to assemble inside parliament for a decent monetary consideration.

Sources in the planning commission have told Humor Unplugged that a proposal was being actively considered to turn parliament into a revenue generating asset for the government. “Suppose you want to organize a concert, or a ballet or drama or even a party, we can let the house out provided you are ready to shell out money at market rates. The way we see it, MPs do not want to work so why should they come all the way with their beacon mounted cars, disrupt proceedings and go back? Instead we can let the floor out and earn money. Atleast that way we will be able to compensate the losses caused by our politicians,” a senior bureaucrat said.  

Parliament will soon host big fat weddings

To start with, citizens will be allowed to assemble as part of a flash mob there. MPs meanwhile will be allowed to disrupt proceedings from home.  “This means they(MPs) will be asked to log on to an application a week in advance and asked to vote. If over a third of the total strength of members decide not to work during the coming week, the house will automatically be adjourned and made available for all kinds of activities. We will be changing the furniture to make it more collapsible so that the floor can be redesigned in just 15 minutes to make way for any kind of event to be hosted,” the senior bureaucrat added.

Another source told us that over 40 applications have been received from money bags across the country who wanted to get their kids married inside parliament. “Forget about getting married on air or in water this is the best marriage that one can ever expect. For one of my clients I am planning to recreate a parliament session on the floor of the house complete with a ‘baithey baithey’ blurting speaker, flying microphones, colloquial abuses, sleepy heads, grim faces and disinterested members. We even want DD Lok Sabha to cover the event. We have already applied to the parliament hoping they will allow us to hold the main marriage function there,” a New Delhi-based wedding planner said.