After banana and cucumber, walnut gets cleric’s goat

A fatwa has been issued by a leading moth bitten mullah against eating walnuts as it resembles human brain.
An unnamed European Islamic cleric has issued a fatwa against eating walnuts. His contention is that the nut resembles human brain and that induces an inferiority complex in the Jurassic mullah community, since many of them do not posses one.    

“Walnuts should not be eaten. Their consumption is against humanity. This fatwah should remind one and all that brain is not an organ to be used. It is just an appendage and one must just ignore it. We therefore urge all to ignore walnuts and this ladies and gentlemen is the fatwah of the year. Anyone who ignores or disobeys this fatwah will be excommunicated from our community and will not be allowed to come within 100 mts of a desert rat certified mullah. In case of any clarification, we urge you to get in touch with our 24X7 mullah helpline or meet us in Peshawar over the next two weeks or sit on a raw cactus for 2 hours,” the mullah said.