Simi Garewal files suit against Arnab Goswami and Rajdeep Sardesai

Last week, a delegation of Indian print and television journalists visited Egypt to study the post-Jasmine revolution scene there. But little did the scribes know that the trip would turn out to be an interesting one for reasons other than democracy.

Arnab and Rajdeep

On their day off, the delegation paid a visit to the Egyptian museum in Cairo. While viewing one of the dilapidated mummies (damaged by vandals during the recent turbulence), Arnab’s sense of humor got the better of him. Seeing the mummy of Queen Hatshepsut, Arnab remarked “If I didn’t know any better, I would have said this mummy looks quite young and well preserved. I know a mummy who is in worse shape back home.” A puzzled museum curator, who was acting as guide to the delegation, argued that the mummies in his museum were the oldest and there were no older mummies, anywhere in the world.

Arnab however started laughing uncontrollably when he heard that statement and looked at the curator and asked with a straight face “haven’t you heard of our Indian botox mummy, Simi (Simi Garewal)? She is the oldest mummy in the world,” he said while collapsing on the floor laughing. Arnab couldn’t believe he had cracked what he believed was his first joke in 15 years.  

Hearing all the commotion, Arnab’s sworn rival Barkha Dutt who was standing nearby, got curious and joined a mob that had gathered around Arnab. Sensing a chance to get back at Arnab, Barkha started filming the episode using her cell. Recovering from his joke, Arnab continued his onslaught on the botox queen with more half-baked jokes. Turning to Rajdeep Sardesai, he said “Knock knock”. A rather reluctant Rajdeep while adjusting his hair said “whos there”? “Simi”, Arnab said. “Simi who” Rajdeep blurted. “Now you Simi, now you don’t”, Arnab replied and the duo burst out laughing. Rajdeep then chipped in with a limerick he had composed on the spot:

Once there was a mummy called Simi, 

Whose conduct was painful and silly,

She sat on the stairs,

Applying botox, ammonia and pears,

That imprudent mummy called Simi.

The duo cracked few more jokes and headed back to their hotel. Barkha, who had caught the whole thing on her cell cam meanwhile called up Simi, told her everything and mailed her the clip. On seeing the clip, Simi got so furious that two layers of reptilian skin that she had worn near her cheek bones cracked and fell on the ground with a loud thud. She immediately rang her lawyer and asked him to file a no holds barred suit against Arnab and Rajdeep. At the time of going to press, Arnab was fast asleep while Rajdeep was busy applying seaweed juice on his hair. Simi Garewal refused to speak to us saying "I dont speak to bloggers".