Exclusive finding: Cavemen's Facebook evolved 10,000 years ago

In a major find, a team of paleoanthropologist Dr. Hammerschmidst has found definite evidence of cavemen updating their status on public forums.

According to the team's findings, cavemen used to constantly scribble doodles, which were quite different from the usual ones seen inside caves around the world. “These status update doodles highlighted recent events in the caveman’s life, such as successful hunt or were random ones signifying a disguised attempt at grabbing attention. The intention was to share information on events in their lives with rest of the cavemen community who would chisel a dot to indicate a ‘like’ or a dash to indicate disapproval much like what some people do on Facebook today and that is what fascinates me and my team. I mean nothing has changed in over 10000 years,” Hammerschmidst told Humor Unplugged over a Skype chat.

Cavebook
Hammerschmidst's analysis reveals that there were public caves quite distinct from private ones where such paintings were allowed. "We are using the term cavebook to refer to these caves. Each caveman was allowed to chisel under a sign that was unique to him. We have seen all kinds of updates. Right from off to hunt, procrastination, to capturing a new mammoth. As in today’s times, the updates by cavewomen used to get maximum likes. The evolutionary significance of cavebook shouldn’t be underestimated as we feel this might have hastened the evolution of speech and language,” the doc said.

Another interesting find that Hammerschmidst’s study has revealed relates to mating. “It seems that these status updates were primarily linked to a mate search. The number of status updates went on increasing till a caveman found a mate and got married. After marriage, the number of updates were far and few. In fact post-marriage, the updates were in the form of distinct drawings depicting the guy being clobbered by his wife over a small misunderstanding or he was shown doing domestic chores while the wifey was out socializing with other cavewomen. Most of these drawings were made by cavewomen,” Hammerschmidst said.

Hammerschmidst’s findings will be published in National Cavemen Monitor’s year end edition.

Comments

Post a Comment

Coffee is on me. It actually is...need to change my shirt now