Baba Ramdev meets Simi Garewal

Both abundance and lack exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which determines which secret garden we will tend with the stock of Botox so generously showered on you by nature...with that thought I, Simi Garewal welcome you to yet another episode of India’s Most Desirable. Let me see who has been threatened and coerced into joining me on my show, this week.

Baba Ramdev walks in

Simi: Who the hell let you in? Who are you and more importantly, what are you?  Helpppp!! Guards…security… some alien has entered the studio…

BR: Do not panic oh fossil. It’s me Baba Ramdev. Now take a deep breath, breathe in purity and let out all black money hidden inside your body. Lady, you need to understand the balance between forces in nature.

Simi: what language is this? And look at you…you look like a bear wearing a salwar. What brings you here?  

BR: I speak the language of the common man. Someone told me there is a 3000 year old monument here. I want do conduct a yoga camp near it. There will be plenty of accumulated wisdom beneath a 3000 year old relic.

Simi: Who are you calling 3000-year old? I am only 2900 so you better mind your numbers and who are you winking at? I know I am quite an eye candy, but you better keep that eye under control or I will blind you with my reflective white top. 

BR: I dare not wink at you oh Botox goddess. I have heard that you even apply Botox to your wig.  You should do yoga to keep yourself young all that Botox won’t do your soul any good. 

Simi: Rakhi wants to embrace your soul and wants to marry you. Do you feel that your destinies are intertwined? Will you be able to transform her into a blessing in your life?   

BR: That woman was quite impressed by my escape from the Ram Lila maidan in the guise of a lady. We dress alike, we look alike, we create unnecessary drama and wink at attractive members from the opposite sex so we have a lot in common, you see. So the other day she sent me a note saying she wanted to date me. In my reply I told her I have no problems in dating you but, if we end up marrying each other, our children might turn to be tiny Nithyanandas and that is not good.

Simi: Ok so now let’s get down to business. Read at my palm and tell me when will my prince charming transcend from this eternal dream of mine and sweep me away. Speak oh great astrologer- reveal what cupid has in store for me, oh sueworthy Oracle.

BR: I am not a fortune teller lady. You are mistaken. But I can surely tell you that your chance of finding love is equal to that of UPA returning to power in the next elections.

Simi: You are not an astrologer? Oh! Heavens be condemned what a terrible turn of events. What made you quite fortune telling?  And what happened to that parrot of yours?

BR: I was never an astrologer. And I guess this parrot you are referring to is that Aaj Tak correspondent who has been deputed to cover me. He keeps repeating everything I say.

Simi: Oh! You poor dear you must be crestfallen am in tears hearing your plight. The heaven could have been kinder on your sorrows. But don’t be afraid I will stand by you in this hour of grief. (moves forward to hug BR who tries to sneak away).

BR: Lady, stay away and what’s that liquid coming from your eyes? Even your tears are rich in Botox. Stay away, I am running away from here.  

Simi with Baba

Ramdev sneaks away, steals a skirt belonging to an employee of the production house and slips away. Once outside the office of the production house, Ramdev notices a statue bearing resemble to Simi as Ramdev stops by to admire the piece of art, the statue comes to life and grabs Ramdev, who is then dragged inside by the statue – who was none other than Simi Garewal.