India intensifies war on terror, launches new condolence template

India on Sunday evening announced that it has decided to show no mercy against terrorists attacking its citizens on its soil. The announcement was made at a function organized to launch a new condolence template to be send to families of victims of terror attacks post a terror incident. The template was inaugurated by union home minister P Chiduji who mailed the first copy of the letter drafted using the same to scamster A Raja's wife with the letters "testing" written boldly on it.

The new template 
(Click to enlarge)

“We have had enough of this. Every single day our people are dying and the whole thing seems to be a never ending affair. So at a cabinet meeting we decided to take things head on,” a home ministry bureaucrat who attended the meeting said. When asked to what the government would do, he said “we are starting with a new condolence template that will help our government express sympathies quicker and with more emotion. It will make us appear more human and concerned,” he said.

Humor Unplugged has learnt that the condolence messages in the new template will be issued to the next of kin of victims within 24 hours. If there is a delay, the bureaucrat responsible will be have to forego one tea session that week. In the future, there will also be scope for obtaining feedback in the letter. “Government is very serious about reaching out to the families of terror attack victims,” the bureaucrat said. Indian government has also decided to do away with its trademark dialogues "we will not succumb to terror" and "terrorists cannot and will not break our will" with new and more hard hitting lines.