Halley’s comet to skip earth in 2061

Halley's Comet has been known since 240 BC to mankind. It was named after Edmund Halley, who calculated its orbit. The comet has been visiting earth regularly and has been part of recorded history and fiction alike.  Yesterday evening scientists at the National Aeronataks and Staged Administration (NASA) delivered the bad news -  the comet will never been seen again by mankind atleast with the naked eye.

NASA sources have told Humor Unplugged that the comet has decided to skip earth for its visit due in 2061 as the planet was considered too unsafe to zip by. It may be remembered that Halley’s comet has been advised by many comets in the past to avoid earth. But the comet persisted; hoping human beings will change and make the planet a better place to live.

Halley's comet

However, things have only gotten worse since Halley last visited in 1986. Al Qaeda has issued a fatwa against the celestial body, calling it a “conspiracy by Western nations to pollute the academically enriched minds of Stone Age mullahs across the world”. One theory has it that Al Qaeda’s space wing –  Al Ahlam has been planning to fly a spacecraft and bump into the comet sometime in the future when the it's trajectory brings it close to earth. It is a different matter that Al Ahlam’s space dreams are so far restricted to two space shuttle toys (100 cmsX56 cms) imported from China few years back for training purposes.    

Studies by NASA have shown that the comet has been changing its trajectory by few degrees over the last ten years. Cumulatively, these changes will make the comet take a new path that will keep it hidden or rather eclipsed from earth by Sun –throughout its journey. This means that the comet will be visible only to  scientists using complex telescopes but not to the common man. Obama's key science and technology advisor John P. Holdren meanwhile said that the president was concerned over the matter and would issue a statement soon.

In India opposition BJP has attacked the government saying it was doing little to persuade the comet to change its mind. "We will take another Rath Yatra throughout the nation to register our protest," a senior BJP leader said.