India – the world leader in gathering condolences

According to an external affairs ministry report, the nation is the recipient of the maximum number of condolence messages in the world.  A proud babu who disclosed this to the media on Friday evening and was involved in coaxing governments to issue condolence messages after 13-7 has already been promoted and will now be heading a ‘Condolence Cell(CC)’ within the external affairs ministry.

“Just look at the type of condolences we have received after 13-7. The quality of language used in these messages is simply brilliant and moving. Clinton, Obama, Camroon and so many others have send in their deep condolences and we have prepared a dossier to compile these. The world’s attention is truly on us and that is due to our incredible efforts," said the new CC head and babu Ghooskor Chaipani.

Humor Unplugged has learnt that the external affairs ministry got in touch with the embassies of 80 countries and got their respective governments to issue condolence messages within 145 minutes of the Mumbai blasts.

“This is a proud moment for the Indian government. Agreed we are incompetent and cannot provide leadership in the war against terror; but on the condolence front we are the thought leaders and can take on anyone. Within just one incident we received more condolence messages than what republic of Nauru got after their leader ran away with an intern in the animal welfare ministry in a whole year,” Chaipani said.

The external affairs ministry and the home ministry will be holding a joint party in a Goa resort to celebrate this ‘achievement’.  

A T-shirt designed by a Indian Intelligence Bureau
sleuth

In memory of those who lost their lives in the Mumbai blasts.