Congress to deploy a new variant of Digvijay Singh

Digvijay-I 

Congress Labs, India’s premier political laboratory, is close to deploying a long range variant of its highly criticised bull$hiter, Digvijay Singh. Sources in the Congress party have told Humor Unplugged that the beta version of the long range variant has successfully completed a battery of lab tests and is ready for minimal test deployment at the national level.        

Digvijay Singh, is a well-known trouble$hitter for the Congress party. His tactic is simple, just throw enough bull$hit into the air to divert attention from a scandal and wait till public attention is adequately diverted (@KBhat144, 2011). However, sources in ruling party say that the effect in some cases only lasts till a short duration of a week or so and sometimes scandals do come back to haunt Congress, bigtime. In such situations, the party has no choice but to stay mum and hope the storm passes by quietly without wrecking the port.

All that could probably change soon with the launch of Digvijay-II having a bull$hiting range of over 10 days. This means that the GOP can manage to keep the attention away from a scam for almost two weeks without worrying about negative media coverage on the party and its government. The new and improved variant will also be able to ward off any coverage of a scam by inserting over 2 scandalous statements in less than 24 hours.

“Congress labs seems to have learnt a lot from the last release of Digvijay Singh. They have added few more features in this version which will enable the party to keep the focus away from itself and its government for a longer duration of time. This version is more sturdy and resilient and comes equipped with an international bull$hiting feature which allows it to operate effectively across countries. I was told that the new version will be deployed by the end of August after user trials are over,” an analyst who witnessed Digvijay-II during the lab trials said.