India donates Kashmir fossil Syed Shah Geelani to paleontology institute

Catalan Institute of Paleontology (ICP), Barcelona is all set to receive a unique gift from none other than the Indian government. India has decided to hand over Kashmiri separatist and amoeboid Pakistani parasite Syed Shah Geelani to the Barcelona-based institute for conducting a volley of tests to study and document the 'living fossil'.

The 'Jurassic freak' reacts on hearing
the news that he will be
sent to Spain 

ICP, according to sources, has been asking for Geelani for the last two years. Geelani, in fact has been a subject of much fascination and curiosity among paleontological experts from institutes across the globe due to his age, features and ideology.  “In the past, at least 3 institutes have asked us to hand him over for further research. We were tired of handling the ever increasing number of experts flying down to meet him and were also scared that a Headley might sneak in on this pretext. His separatist behavior bordering on lunacy was also not helping. Therefore, at a closed door meeting in South Block last week we finally decided to hand him over to one the institutes so that they can retain him. He is unwanted in India and we would like to dump this prehistoric freak at the earliest,” a RAW analyst told Humor Unplugged over an encrypted chat.

Origin of Geelani 
According to experts, Geelani was born during early Cretaceous and has been around since then. His first, and last, date was a Asiatosaurus- a huge plant-eater. He was around when the dinos waved goodbye and when the last major ice age set in. It is said that he survived the last ice age by constantly uttering incomprehensible chatter about separation, strike and protest. It is around this time that he learnt to throw stones while foraging for food - a habit that he has retained to this day. The only difference is that today, Geelani’s food and pay comes from across the border.

Government sources say Geelani will be flown to Barcelona in a specially built cage on a modified IL 76 of the Indian Air Force. Before this however, he will be let loose among a crowd of Kashmiri Pundits who will be allowed to thrash him to pulp. This will help subdue him for the journey ahead. Meanwhile in Srinagar, Geelani asked the people of Kashmir to join him in a dawn to dusk strike. No sooner had he said this, a bunch of villagers came, dragged Geelani outside, thrashed him with shoes and dumped him back in his house.