India asks Chile to keep the dangerous San Jose mine open

India has requested Chile to keep the infamous mine that held 33 miners hostage for over two months open for a while longer. The exact time period is not known but what is known is that the Indian government has drawn up a plan to dump all the corrupt and incompetent CWG-OC buffoons into the hell pit, once the charges against them are established. The San Jose mine near Copiapo in Chile had held the miners captive till they were rescued dramatically by a joint effort mounted by NASA, Chilean government and some private companies.

The game is up for Kalmadi
in more ways than one

Sources in the home ministry told Humor Unplugged that ever since the clamor for action against the few who brought shame and disgrace to the nation grew, the government has made up its mind to dole out a punishment that will be unprecedented in the legal history of the country. “I can confirm that the Indian government has sent a communiqué to the Chilean Ministerio de Minería requesting them not to close the mine anytime soon. We want to push all the crooks behind the CWG scandal down the mine and then seal it. Such crooks deserve no sympathy. They have let everyone down and deserve nothing better,” our source in the home ministry said.

Humor Unplugged has learnt that the Prime Minister’s Office has directed the investigating agencies to close the investigation soon so that the culprits can be punished at the earliest. Chile has indicated that while it is more than eager to accommodate the Indian request, it cannot keep the mine open for long. Sources say that Chilean government has asked its Indian counterpart to give a concrete time frame by which the culprits will be handed over to Chilean authorities for disposal.  “Keeping this in mind the PM has asked all agencies to wind up the investigation rapidly and try the accused in a fast track court over a week. Once the guilty verdict is out as per our expectations, the guilty will be flown to Chile and thrown into the mine. The opening will then be sealed with a mix of plastic and fly ash,” our source said.