Saving Blackberry: Research In Motion to conduct homa to ward off ‘evil eye'
After repeated setbacks in India, UAE, Saudi Arabia and Indonesia, Research in Motion (RIM), the company behind the Blackberry brand has decided to conduct a huge Yagna (ritual) to ward off evil eye allegedly cast by competitors such as Google and Skype. Company sources have told Humor Unplugged that the move has been widely welcomed and will be implemented at the earliest to ensure that the company fights off all business obstacles with ease.
Confirming the move, RIM’s Chief Superstitious Officer (CSO) Michael White says “yes, we are going in for a grand ritual as we have a confirmed case of evil eye. Our competitors have cast an evil eye on us since they are unable to catch up with us and are losing the race for the numbers. This will help us fight motion sickness (chuckles). I am afraid I won’t be able to share more information on this as of now”
RIM has assembled an envious ensemble of religious experts from across the nation for the ritual to be conducted in mid-September in New Delhi.
It may be remembered that Blackberry’s operations across 5 countries had come under a cloud following security issues. India had gone as far ahead as to say that RIM is welcome to pack its fancy pouches and leave the country if it doesn’t wish to follow the rules here. It took much sacrifice and patience on RIM’s part to convince the Indian government to leave it alone. RIM was then warned by prominent astrologer Bejan Scothwala that unless a ritual was conducted soon, RIM will have to wind up its Asia operations. The company it seems has decided to listen to the astrologer and asked him to lead the ritual.
Scotchwala has also asked RIM to disassociate itself from the color and word black since it was associated with the planet Saturn, the planet of hurdles and add another 3 alphabets ‘XHR’ to its name. Times of India, the most superstitious newspaper in the world, has welcomed the move saying that RIM would henceforth get a 30 percent discount on all company ads in the newspaper. Times of India has already suggested a numerologicaly correct name to RIM for its Blackberry services, inside sources say.
Confirming the move, RIM’s Chief Superstitious Officer (CSO) Michael White says “yes, we are going in for a grand ritual as we have a confirmed case of evil eye. Our competitors have cast an evil eye on us since they are unable to catch up with us and are losing the race for the numbers. This will help us fight motion sickness (chuckles). I am afraid I won’t be able to share more information on this as of now”
RIM has assembled an envious ensemble of religious experts from across the nation for the ritual to be conducted in mid-September in New Delhi.
It may be remembered that Blackberry’s operations across 5 countries had come under a cloud following security issues. India had gone as far ahead as to say that RIM is welcome to pack its fancy pouches and leave the country if it doesn’t wish to follow the rules here. It took much sacrifice and patience on RIM’s part to convince the Indian government to leave it alone. RIM was then warned by prominent astrologer Bejan Scothwala that unless a ritual was conducted soon, RIM will have to wind up its Asia operations. The company it seems has decided to listen to the astrologer and asked him to lead the ritual.
Scotchwala has also asked RIM to disassociate itself from the color and word black since it was associated with the planet Saturn, the planet of hurdles and add another 3 alphabets ‘XHR’ to its name. Times of India, the most superstitious newspaper in the world, has welcomed the move saying that RIM would henceforth get a 30 percent discount on all company ads in the newspaper. Times of India has already suggested a numerologicaly correct name to RIM for its Blackberry services, inside sources say.
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Coffee is on me. It actually is...need to change my shirt now