Hafiz Saeed is now a honorary Colonel in the Pakistan army

Pakistan army has decided to honor Jama'at-ud-Da'wah chief and sub continent’s most wanted terrorist Hafiz Saeed. He was made a Honorary Col with special privileges by Pakistani Army at a special ceremony organized at GHQ in Rawalpindi last week.

“Yes, Hafiz is now a Col in the Pakistani army. He has been given this honor for behaving like a perfect non state actor in Pakistan’s proxy war against India. He has turned into a weapon of choice for our army that is hesitant and reluctant to take on India directly due to obvious reasons,” said Pakistan army spokesperson Mullah Machar at a briefing in Islamabad.

Speaking at the ceremony, Pakistan’s army chief Gen Pervez Kayani said “Pakistani army has a rich tradition. We have been beaten convincingly on more occasions than any other army in the world. We are also among the few armies in the world that is afraid of conventional warfare and believes in hiding behind clandestinely acquired nuclear weapons. Inspite of all this, Pakistan army has very much survived and is always ready for another trashing”.

When asked about Pakistan ceding occupied territory in northern Kashmir to China, Kiani said “whats new about it? We have done this before and will do it again. Why do you think we have initiated the Kashmir issue? We want to gain the entire territory and hand it over to China as a reward for saving our rear on multiple occasions”.