Shera’s personal life rocks parliament; Oppn demands action

The animated personal and unethical professional life of Shera, the disgraced former mascot of Common Wealth Games, caught the attention of Indian parliament this week. Members, cutting across party lines attacked the mascot’s alleged transgressions and urged the government to do more to bring the rogue ‘tiger’ to justice.

Raising the issue during the sub zero hour, commie MP Buddhadebt Bhattacharya said “Sheru’s behavior has brought shame and ignominy to the tiger population of this country. He has done well to emulate his CWG-OC masters and Mel Gibson and I have no qualms in admitting that he has done irreparable damage to the image of tigers in India that too at a time when there is renewed focus on conserving them”.

Another MP from the Janata Dull (TBC) blamed the increasing proliferation of foreign movie channels for the wayward behavior of mascots.  “In the good old days when we had only Doordarshan and its Rukhawat key liey khed hai movies, we had morally upright mascots like Appu. Today with these foreign movie channels beaming vulgar immoral content into the homes of innocent aspiring mascots, the number of Sheras will only grow. They should ban all foreign movie channels and FTV at the earliest,” the MP said. He however added that these channels should only be shown in the homes of the honorable members of parliament, especially the Rajya Sabha, since the decision makers had to compulsorily have a global outlook.   

Yet another MP, who was fast asleep till the debate started, ran towards the well of the house, snatched some papers from the speaker and tore them to pieces. The MP who was later thrown out of the house tendered an unconditional apology stating that when he woke up he heard lots of commotion around him and thought that government had tabled an important bill and it was his responsibility to ensure that the bill was not discussed by hook or by crook.

As the member of parliament was being taken outside the house, the speaker started crying. When concerned members asked him as to what the problem was, the speaker said that the honorable member had torn the bill for a kurta that the speaker’s wife had brought from a retail outlet. “I was saving the bill as my wife wanted to get the kurta exchanged since it was not a perfect fit. During the recent world cup when I had lost a bill in a similar manner, she kicked me everytime someone played a vuvuzela during a live match. I don’t want to go home this time, without the bill,” he said.  

Concerned members have decided to pool in their lunch money to help the speaker. Union textiles minister Moth Lal called up the retail outlet and directed them to exchange the kurta without a bill. Suresh Kalmadi, the beleaguered CWG OC chief also agreed to chip in. He said
that he could get a expensive replica of the kurta imported from London at 800 times the original cost in no time.