Sangakkara to open a noball institute for players; Pakistan to chip in with match fixing expertise

Disgraced Sri Lankan captain and world’s top whiner Sangakkara has decided to open a institute for training players to ball Noballs and whine like him. The institute, to come up in Colombo, will help players spot fix matches with ease by bowling noballs, wides or byes to ensure that live up to the commitment made to a bookie. Sangakkara has named the institute Sangakkara Institute of Noball Sciences (SINs)

“Don’t be fooled by the name of the institute like you journos often do. This institute will cover all forms of match and spot fixing and will feature the expertise of match fixing gods such as Salim Mailk, Kamran Khatmal and Salman Butt, alongside me. I will also teach kids how to whine when things don’t go your way,” said Sangakkara. 

“Sri Lanka has tremendous experience in chucking, bowling noballs and then whining like there is no tomorrow. That’s what we bring to the table – the Pakistanis will bring their spot and match fixing skills and together we will rock the world of cricket. We will buy everything right from noballs to even powerplay decisions,” Sangakkara added.

The move has been enthusiastically welcomed by the Bookies Association of Pakistan (BAP) and Bookies Association of Sri Lanka (BAS). The Pakistani cricket board has asked for more details from Sangakkara before offering their approval.