Direct flood aid through bookies and Lashkar: Pak to India

Indicating its reluctance to accept Indian aid to help its flood ravaged citizens, Pakistan has asked India to route its aid through Pak-approved bookies and dreaded terror group Lashkar-e-Toe-iba. This decision was screamed to India by Pakistan’s loud mouth foreign minister Shah Mehmmod Qureshi from Islamabad on Friday evening.

“We have handed over the names of a few of our bookies who are currently working with our national cricket team in England to fix matches in addition to our favorite terror group Lashkar-e-Toe-iba. These entities will take Indian aid money and route it to our flood relief camps. I don’t want to accept Indian money and if it means a few thousands of our citizens will die due to lack of food and shelter, then be it and we are not bothered. Our ego is bigger than the lives of our citizens. Also, if India wants to give us aid, we will accept it on our terms and they have to agree,” a comically belligerent Qureshi told Humor Unplugged over a chat yesterday.    

Humor Unplugged in London
The Indian High Commission in London has confirmed receiving the names of the bookies through its Pakistani counterpart here.  The list includes some of the big names in the world of betting and match fixing and curiously mentions the name of Pakistani captain Salman Butt on top of the list.  Pakistan has also provided three bank account numbers belonging to ISI controlled terror group Lashkar-e-Toe-iba. According to sources, these are the same accounts that Lashkar uses to purchase weapons from China. The Indian embassy has been asked to wire the money to these accounts 'without asking any questions',  a embassy source told Humor Unplugged.