Pakistan begins hunt for new foreign minister
Amidst all the hullabaloo over the failure of Indo-Pak talks, Pakistan has quietly embarked on a mission to recruit a junior minister in its foreign affairs ministry. Sources in the Pakistani government have told Humor Unplugged that the government is seriously looking out for a candidate who can fill in the shoes of the existing foreign minister Shah Mehmood Qureshi.
Qureshi, who is suffering from BP-related problems and cannot speak at noise levels below 110 decibels, will have to retire soon and Pakistan doesn’t want to have an amateur take up the post when the inevitable happens. “Qureshi has many health problems. Ever since his wife ran away with a pumpkin salesman, he acts in a funny way whenever he sees someone talking over a phone. He has had schizophrenia since childhood and believes that he is an Oscar winning actor action hero from Hollywood. He also feels that he is communicating with everyone around him through a long distance call and he keeps screaming his lungs out thinking no one is able to listen to him. Considering all this, the PM has asked us to hunt for a new foreign minister to replace Qureshi,” a senior Pakistani minister told Humor Unplugged.
Humor Unplugged was able to access a file listing basic qualification for becoming Pakistani foreign minister. We have pulled out a few of these for the benefit of our readers. These are some of the points that form the KRA for the new minister is presented below. The incumbent should
• Be able to use the word Kashmir 45 times in one sentence
• Be a certified ham actor
• Posses a certificate of insanity from a reputed institute will be a definite plus
• Be able to use undiplomatic language and insult visiting dignitary from another country
• Be able to lose all sense of self respect and bow down spinelessly in front of counterpart from USA
• Be able to convince US to support Pakistan’s bogus war on terror with money. Milk US for atleast US$ 1 bn every year.
• Take diktats from Pak army and ISI and act accordingly
The new minister will initially be placed in a junior position. He or she will be promoted as and when Qureshi kicks the bucket or is deposited in a Psychiatric facility.
Pakistani foreign minister Shah Mehmood Qureshi arrives at the venue for meeting with his Indian counterpart.
Qureshi, who is suffering from BP-related problems and cannot speak at noise levels below 110 decibels, will have to retire soon and Pakistan doesn’t want to have an amateur take up the post when the inevitable happens. “Qureshi has many health problems. Ever since his wife ran away with a pumpkin salesman, he acts in a funny way whenever he sees someone talking over a phone. He has had schizophrenia since childhood and believes that he is an Oscar winning actor action hero from Hollywood. He also feels that he is communicating with everyone around him through a long distance call and he keeps screaming his lungs out thinking no one is able to listen to him. Considering all this, the PM has asked us to hunt for a new foreign minister to replace Qureshi,” a senior Pakistani minister told Humor Unplugged.
Humor Unplugged was able to access a file listing basic qualification for becoming Pakistani foreign minister. We have pulled out a few of these for the benefit of our readers. These are some of the points that form the KRA for the new minister is presented below. The incumbent should
• Be able to use the word Kashmir 45 times in one sentence
• Be a certified ham actor
• Posses a certificate of insanity from a reputed institute will be a definite plus
• Be able to use undiplomatic language and insult visiting dignitary from another country
• Be able to lose all sense of self respect and bow down spinelessly in front of counterpart from USA
• Be able to convince US to support Pakistan’s bogus war on terror with money. Milk US for atleast US$ 1 bn every year.
• Take diktats from Pak army and ISI and act accordingly
The new minister will initially be placed in a junior position. He or she will be promoted as and when Qureshi kicks the bucket or is deposited in a Psychiatric facility.
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Coffee is on me. It actually is...need to change my shirt now